Angels Know the Rest
Rating: PG
Summary: A look into newly formed and re-formed friendships taking
place during and immediately after the return trip to Abydos. Missing
scene fic for Children of the Gods.
Subjects: Friendship (Sam/Daniel and Jack/Daniel), Angst, Hurt/Comfort
and just a pinch of UST
Spoilers: Stargate movie, Children of the Gods
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: All the standard stuff applies, aka I don't own them -
never did, never will. I just like to play with them every so
often. They don't seem to mind, so it's all good.
Author's Note: Thanks so much to roonie81 for the beta and title
suggestion! *hugs*
********************************
Emily Dickinson
VII
I hide myself within my flower,
That wearing on your breast,
You, unsuspecting, wear me too—
And angels know the rest.
I hide myself within my flower,
That, fading from your vase,
You, unsuspecting, feel for me
Almost a loneliness.
*************************
Squinting and wrinkling his nose at the glare from the bright Abydonian
sunlight, Jack winced inwardly. He couldn't say he missed the old
place. And he certainly didn't miss that trip through the wormhole. His
insides felt like they'd been placed in a blender. Oh, yeah, and there
was that layer of frost coating his skin due to ... whatever it was the
egghead physicists had mentioned. He didn't pay enough attention the
first time. But it was something he still hated.
None of that seemed to matter, however, as soon as he caught sight of
Skaara along with those other terrific kids he'd left behind. Oh, yeah,
and that geek, Doctor Daniel Jackson. 'Geek' being a term of
endearment, of course. He couldn't forget what the guy had done for him
and his team back on that first mission.
Guy seems to have done well for
himself, Jack thought after Jackson's wife joined them and
accompanied them to dinner. Quite
well. That had been some kiss she planted on him before they'd
left just minutes ago.
And was that jealousy he'd seen on Doctor – excuse me, Captain -
Carter's face? No, couldn't be. She was probably still sick from the
trip via Wormhole Express. Although, the way she acted as she
introduced herself to him ... it was as if the guy was some kind of
celebrity to her. Jack failed to bite back a chuckle.
A chuckle that apparently caught Daniel's attention. Turning, he found
the younger man gazing at him curiously.
“Nothing,” Jack muttered in reply, still attempting to avoid the glare
from those godawful suns as he shook his head dismissively.
Daniel nodded. “So.”
Jack turned to him again. “So.”
“Dweeb, huh?” Daniel flashed a grin that seemed teasing in nature.
Jack blinked. “Beg your pardon?”
“You think I'm a dweeb?”
All Jack could do was fix him with a look of confusion. Maybe the
intense heat was playing havoc on his brain.
“Skaara,” Daniel elaborated.
What was he...? Jack suddenly felt a nasty twitch of embarrassment at
the memory of their first mission. In search of Daniel, he'd asked
Skaara and the other boys if they'd seen him. 'Does the word 'dweeb'
mean anything to you?'
Oh, for crying out loud.
He found Daniel gazing intently at him, as if expecting acknowledgment
and then contrition. Instead, Jack played dumb. “Y'know, Daniel, you
shouldn't bring this up now. Poor kid's not here to defend himself.”
The robe-clad archaeologist rolled his eyes and then grinned. “They
liked hearing tales about life back on Earth. One day, not long after
you guys had left, I was talking about some of the people I knew back
there. I mentioned your name in passing.” He stopped to chuckle.
“Skaara, his eyes just lit up and he blurted out, 'dweeb'!”
That little revelation took Jack by surprise. “Oh, this changes things.
He was calling me a dweeb?”
Daniel laughed. “As funny as it would have been, no. It came out that
you'd used it to refer to me.”
Jack thought he saw a small amount of indignation in the younger man's
expression, but whether it was real or Daniel was playing, he didn't
know. All he could do was shrug. “Sorry.”
Daniel shook his head. “Oh ... no. It's fine.”
“Come on, time was short. I had to find you before Ra ... you know.” He
glanced uncomfortably at Daniel.. “I was just going on first
impressions. I didn't necessarily mean it as an insult.”
Oh, that kid was grinning wickedly. “I wouldn't have expected anything
different from you, Jack.” Daniel paused, his grin fading as he shook
his head once more. “It's okay. I'm used to it.”
Jack still felt the need to elaborate. “Look, while I found you to be a
pain in the ass at first ...” He stopped as he caught Daniel gazing at
him with wide, almost hurt, eyes. “Ah!” he exclaimed, holding up a
finger. “At first. You saved
my life. I was ready to blow myself up right along with that damned
bomb. I didn't think my life had any more purpose. You proved me
wrong.” Lowering his voice, he avoided Daniel's gaze. Damn, it was hard
to pour his heart out like this. “You saved my life and the life of my
men. That makes you an okay guy in my book.” Smiling, he clapped Daniel
on the back.
Daniel didn't seem to expect this, but he smiled nonetheless before
ducking his head shyly.
Jack suddenly remembered something. “Speaking of bombs, Hammond – the
new commander of the facility – was all set to send one through before
we came here.”
Daniel's eyebrows shot up. “What?”
“I wouldn't allow it,” Jack continued, trying to bite back any leftover
anger regarding the general's abandoned decision. “I could see his
point of view - those aliens killed several of our men and kidnapped
one. But no one here deserves to die. Not you, not Skaara, not Sha're,
or anyone else. There is no way I'd let that happen.” He met Daniel's
gaze with strong resolve.
The other man seemed to digest this information for a fleeting moment
and then just stared at him. “Thank you,” he finally uttered quietly.
Jack managed a ghost of a smile. Slightly uncomfortable once again with
the sharing of feelings, he turned to find Captain Carter trudging
behind them, appearing as if she'd zoned out. Then again, Kawalsky
sounded like he was giving her a play-by-play of the latest football
game. The captain didn't look like someone who appreciated sports much.
Adjusting his sunglasses, Jack squinted once more in the bright glare.
What was it, high noon here on Abydos? He hoped they'd reach those
tunnels soon ...
************************************************
“Definitely the archaeological find of the century,” Captain Samantha
Carter murmured, gazing with awe at the cartouche Dr. Jackson had
discovered in these chambers. The concept of intergalactic travel via
an unstable vortex of matter was incredible enough. The possibility
that this technology reached beyond the planet of Abydos, possibly to
countless other planets throughout the entire galaxy ... it was almost
too much for her to take in.
She had found that same excitement in Dr. Jackson's voice as he spoke
passionately about his discovery. Remembering their earlier
conversation, she felt a slight grin tugging at the corners of her
mouth. They seemed to be on the same page, and had pretty much confused
the hell out of Colonel O'Neill and Major Kawalsky.
Turning, she realized both men were absent from the room. They'd since
retreated to the entrance of the chamber, leaving the two scientists to
study the cartouche further. She soon found her gaze lingering on Dr.
Jackson, who appeared to be fingering the symbols on the cartouche with
great reverence. She'd overheard the conversation between him and
Colonel O'Neill on the way here and had gained a greater respect for
the archaeologist.
“Dr. Jackson?”
The fellow scientist turned, seeming a bit put out on being pulled away
from his reverie at first. “Captain Doctor?” His features softened.
“Please, call me 'Daniel.'”
Sam managed a slight smile. “Okay, Daniel, but only if you'll call me
'Sam' ...” She briefly lowered her head, a bit unsure of how to start.
“I don't think you're a dweeb.”
“W-what?” He looked almost endearing when caught by surprise.
“I guess it doesn't mean much coming from a fellow scientist.” Sam gave
a small shrug. “But I never found you to be a dweeb, even while I was
reading up about you at the Pentagon.”
Daniel ducked his head, and she thought she heard him mumble, “That's
very nice of you.”
“Really, I thought you were brilliant. The way you figured out how to
work the Stargate in a mere matter of weeks, while my team spent
several years running dozens of permutations for ...” She cut herself
off, deciding it no longer mattered, especially compared to what she
was about to say. “I overheard what the colonel told you on the way
here. It's amazing what you'd done for them, for all those people.”
She found Daniel avoiding her gaze and suddenly felt embarrassed for
making him so uncomfortable. “Please don't act like I'm some big hero,”
he replied softly. “Because I'm not. I can't ever look at myself that
way, so I wish others wouldn't either.”
Locking eyes with him, Sam wondered if it was possible to have too much
admiration for the man. “Okay, if you say so. But my opinion of you
just went up another notch.” She noted the way his cheeks flushed and
mentally kicked herself for saying too much. “I-I'm sorry. I must sound
like some silly, obsessive fangirl.”
She watched Daniel's eyebrows lift a notch, nearly disappearing into
his bangs before a boyish grin lit up his features. “No, no, that's all
right.” There was a hint of amusement in his tone. “To be honest, I
appreciate that you find my work so interesting. Not many people do.”
She knew that feeling well, and told him so as the two finally exited
the room upon hearing the colonel's request to move out. The walk back
to the pyramid was mired in silence, but she couldn't help glancing at
Daniel and trying to bite back the great feelings of admiration and
empathy she'd gained for the man.
********************************************************
Sam paced restlessly down the corridors of the SGC. Where again was
that mess hall? She was in dire need of coffee. Not that drinking the
stuff so often had to be good for her, especially when coupled with the
mere few hours of sleep she'd gotten last night. But she couldn't help
it – there'd been so much excitement over the past couple of days, it
seemed that hardly anyone was thinking serously about sleep.
Excitement. Now there's an understatement. Before they'd returned from
the tunnels, hostile aliens had come through the Stargate. Not only did
they brutally attack Major Feretti and the Abydonians, but they also
kidnapped the boy Colonel O'Neill had befriended as well as Dr.
Jackson's - Daniel's - wife.
Speaking of Daniel ... Sam wondered how he was holding up. She hadn't
seen much of him since yesterday when they arrived back. She'd heard
Colonel O'Neill had taken him in, provided him with food, clothing, and
most likely some much needed moral support. Not that Sam didn't expect
it. Out of everyone here, Daniel had known the colonel the longest and
the two seemed to be good friends. But she now considered Daniel a
friend as well and wished there was something she could do to help.
While her mind wandered, her feet took over and as luck would have it
she found herself right in front of the mess hall, the aroma of morning
coffee still heady in the air at 0830. That aroma was calling out to
her. She decided to put aside all the thoughts weighing heavily on her
mind. Until ...
Not watching where she was going, she nearly bumped shoulders with
someone exiting the room. “Oh, sorry,” she blurted out, flustered.
“It's okay,” the other person returned quietly. Risking a glance she
found Daniel holding two cups of coffee and appearing a bit lost in
thought.
She offered a small smile. “Hi, Daniel.”
The other scientist nodded and gave her a shy, “Hi” himself.
“Can I take something for you?”
Daniel shook his head. “No, it's okay.”
He looked like he was in a bit of a hurry, but Sam decided she'd risk a
bit of conversation. “Is that second cup for the colonel?”
“Ah .. no, it's for me. They're both for me,” he replied, sounding a
bit awkward.
Taking in his features – the worn, tired eyes and the slightly mussed
hair – she realized what hell he must be going through. “Have you slept
at all since we got back?”
She didn't receive an answer. Daniel simply lowered his head, avoiding
her gaze.
For a moment she stared at him, feeling her heart ache in empathy.
Right now, she wished she could just pull him into a hug. How would
that look, though, after they'd only been friends a very short time?
Instead, she reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder. “We'll
find her, Daniel.”
Her gesture didn't provoke much reaction from Daniel, except a quick,
cursory glance at her hand where it rested on his shoulder. She hated
to see him hurting like this. “My own father is a general in the Air
Force. There have been plenty of times when I worried something could
happen to him. And ...” She briefly trailed off, a painful memory
suddenly dredging up from deep within.
Cobalt blue eyes that radiated warmth
and love.
A smile that could light up a room
with its exuberance.
Shoulder length curls in a rich
blonde color, always smelling of sunshine and lavender.
“And I know what it's like to lose someone you love.”
She finally got Daniel to look at her and, for a brief moment, she
locked eyes with him. Losing the grip on her composure, she tore her
gaze away from him and bit her lip. She just couldn't say anymore.
Perhaps she had said too much. “I have to go.”
Daniel looked as if he wanted her to elaborate. “Sam?” he asked quietly.
Those bright blue eyes didn't budge one inch from her face. Damn, he
was making this difficult for her. After all these years, she thought
she had effectively buried this memory, but here it was, boiling to the
surface, and still hurting like hell. She bit her lip again. “No, it's
okay. I'll let you get some sleep now.” She gestured to the door of one
of the guest quarters, where she assumed Daniel would sleep when they
were on base.
“But...”
Trying to ignore the pleading look in Daniel's eyes, Sam hurried down
the corridor. Having gotten a safe distance away, she slowed her gait.
She wished she didn't have to hurry away like this. She wished she
could have stayed with Daniel and tried to offer him more comfort. But,
no, she'd reached a limit: the limit before her emotions could reach
critical mass and come crashing down on her, making her seem like a
weak fool instead of the strong, upstanding military officer she was
supposed to be.
Was she that afraid Daniel would somehow cause her to reveal that side
of herself? The weaker, more vulnerable, it's-okay-to-cry-sometimes
side she tried to banish more times than was probably healthy?
She couldn't give it a second thought; she didn't want to at the
moment. Perhaps she'd eventually work up the courage to open up more to
Daniel, to share her grief with a new friend. But that was for another
day.
THE END