Breaking the Curse

Warm sun, sand between her fingers, water at the perfect temperature lapping her feet. This was, put simply, paradise. She was safe and warm, the best feeling in the world. She stretched languidly until her hand hit someone’s nose.

“Ow,” Daniel muttered. “Sam, that’s the second time you’ve done that. Why did I allow you to lay on me?”

“Because you make a better pillow than the sand does,” she told him, patting his chest as she turned to lay with her back on him, not her stomach. They must be off-world somewhere. She wondered how long it would be before the colonel and Teal’c interrupted them. No matter how long, it would still be too soon.

Sam woke up to the extremely pleasant feeling of being in someone’s arms. She was half draped over Daniel’s chest. One of her arms was across his stomach and one of his was curled around her. She barely remembered waking the night before. Daniel had been there, to take away the terror she’d felt. And then she’d slept so peacefully until just now. She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair. Even as much as they’d slept in the same bed these last few days, this was the first time she’d woken up before him and could watch him sleep.

His breathing was soft and shallow. He ought to snore, have some sort of flaw, rather than look like an angel when he slept. All of the worry and pain he wouldn’t share during the day had faded away, and she could see traces of the innocent, less world weary man he had been when they first met. That connection they had shared in the beginning, forged by their love of science, had been forged anew over the past couple of days. She felt closer to Daniel than she had in a long time, even before his ascension. She never wanted Pete or Sarah to die, but Sam was glad that she and Daniel had gotten the chance to spend this time together. Their friendship had needed it. She had needed it.

She had missed Daniel so much during his ascension. She knew he was out there, but he wasn’t with her. He couldn’t answer her questions or share in her discoveries. He could have been there, watching, of course, but she would never know. She had to admit it still hurt that he had never visited her, just Jack and Teal’c, and she would never know why. She could ask him, but that wasn’t fair. He didn’t remember. Considering that he remembered everything else, except the time when he was ascending, she would never know.

She slipped out of Daniel’s hold, put on her robe, and crossed the room. She yawned, filling the coffee pot with water and putting the prepackaged coffee into the basket. She flipped the switch, turning the machine on; Daniel would have coffee when he woke up. He’d still insist on going to Starbucks before they headed to the zoo, but at least he’d have something to tide him over. She took a pair of jeans and a pink sweater out of her bag and gathered everything else she needed for her shower.

She stopped and looked back at him once more before she headed into the bathroom, turned on the water and stepped into the shower, humming to herself.

He knew she was gone before he was even fully awake. His eyes snapped open, and he looked around. The smell of coffee reached him at the same time as the sound of the shower. He was relieved by the sound, knowing that his fear that she was completely gone was foolish, ridiculous. No one knew where they were to take Sam as she had once been taken, and she wouldn’t abandon him here unless he did something unforgivable, which he hadn’t.

Granted, his other fear, that he might have had an improper reaction to Sam’s presence and the semi-intimate position they’d been in would possibly qualify, but he had an excuse—a lie—that would get him out of it. He could always claim he had dreamt about Sha’re. It was a lie he was pretty sure she would believe.

With a groan, he rolled out of the bed and went to the coffeemaker. He poured himself a cup and fixed it the best he could with the limited supplies he had. When would he learn to travel with his own coffee supplies? Probably never.

He took a sip of the coffee and made a face. He set it aside as he dug out his clothes for the day—jeans and a t-shirt he’d picked up at a thrift store because it was for his alma mater. He threw them on the bed and sat, drinking bad coffee as he waited for Sam to finish.

That was when Sam’s cell phone started to ring. He found the jacket she’d draped over the desk chair and took the phone out of her pocket. The caller id was blocked. It could be the SGC. Mentally apologizing to Sam, he answered.

“Well, Carter, you’ve changed,” Jack said sarcastically.

Daniel sighed. “What do you want, Jack?”

“Bit snappish this morning, aren’t we, Danny boy? “ Jack asked. “What, not enough coffee? I wanted to talk to Carter. I assume you’re with her?”

“Well, sort of,” Daniel told him, swallowing the last of his coffee and going for a refill even if he shouldn’t and didn’t really want it. “She’s in the shower. I’ll tell her you—”

“You got Carter in your shower? Daniel, you dog. I never knew you had it in you.”

“God, Jack, what the hell is your problem?” Daniel demanded.

“What, Daniel? You’re answering her phone. Then you tell me she’s in the shower.” Jack sounded defensive. Angry. Jealous.

“Are you jealous?” Daniel exclaimed incredulously. “Of what? Sam was busy, so I answered her cell phone. I thought it might be important, might be the SGC. And even if it was at all what you were implying—and it isn’t—that is no way to talk about Sam. Or me. She’s not some elusive prize that I would have won if I slept with her. And I wouldn’t be some big stud if I did.”

“Jeez, Daniel,” Jack said, pretending to be clueless, “Can’t you take a joke?”

“That was not a joke, Jack. It was not funny. It was an insult, and it was uncalled for. Sam doesn’t see me as anything other than a friend, so you have no reason to be jealous,” Daniel told him, feeling sick at his own admission.

“Did you say Carter doesn’t see you as anything other than a friend?” Jack’s questioning tone turned demanding. “How exactly do you see her, Daniel?”

“You are an insensitive bastard,” Daniel muttered as Sam came out of the bathroom. She looked so beautiful, so refreshed, her cheeks infused with a post shower blush that matched the delicate pink of her sweater. She frowned as she heard Daniel speak, and he handed her the phone. “It’ s Jack. I don’t know what he wants. I’m going to go get something from the continental breakfast.”

He grabbed a jacket and pulled it on as he shoved his feet into his shoes and then stalked out of the door.

“Sir, what did you say to Daniel?” Sam demanded as she put the phone to her ear. She had half a mind to hang up on the colonel and run after Daniel, but her military bearing had her waiting on her superior officer when she should probably be going after her friend.

“Nothing,” O’Neill insisted, which she knew had to be a lie. Daniel would not run off like he had if the colonel hadn’t said something. “It was a joke that he overreacted to, that’s all.”

“I don’t think that Daniel saw it as a joke, sir. He just left, and he seemed pretty upset,” Sam told him angrily. She’d been witness to some of the colonel and Daniel’s worst arguments, but since Daniel descended, they had argued less and been more like they had in the beginning. It was not the same, not by any means, but she hadn’t seen Daniel this upset over something the colonel said since before his death and ascension.

“Look, Carter, he blew it all out of proportion. I’ll call him later, after he’s calmed down,” O’Neill promised, evidently feeling she should be placated by that. She wasn’t.

“Sir, we lost Daniel for over a year, and it was one of the hardest years of our lives. I’m not saying we shouldn’t say what we mean or always give him his way because he’s back, but we don’t want him to have any reason to leave again, especially not due to something stupid that we said. I really think you should talk to him. Some of the stuff you’ve said to him lately has been rather insensitive, like that crack about ex-girlfriend stalkers.” She paused for breath. “Sir, he just lost Sarah, and he’s hurting. He won’t show us how much. That means we have to be careful in what we say. I said something about Sha’re the other day, and he acted like he’d been kicked in the gut.”

“Carter, I said I’d apologize,” the colonel answered belligerently. He’d never taken advice about his friendship with Daniel well, and Sam was afraid that she was just seeing another instance of that. She would wait and hope that her words sunk in.

“That’s good, sir,” she said flatly. “Now, what did you call to talk to me about? Is something up at the SGC?”

A knock came on the door before he replied. Sam opened it, ready to turn away an eager maid only to discover that it was Daniel. His hands were full of coffee and tea and a couple of muffins. She helped him sort it all out, taking the tea and thanking him for it. She watched him add cream and sugar to his coffee as she added some sweetener to her tea.

“Sorry, sir, what was that?” Sam asked, realizing that she’d missed everything O’Neill had said while she was getting her tea ready.

“I said, are you up to a night at my place? Pizza, hockey, beer. Teal’c’s coming, and Daniel’s invited, too, if he’d ever return my messages.”

“Oh,” Sam said, “Um, sir, I appreciate the invitation, but I—” She watched Daniel pick up his clothes with more force than necessary and point to the bathroom. Oh. Okay. He was going to shower.

“But you what, Carter?”

Daniel disappeared into the bathroom, and she heard the shower start. She shook her head. “I can’t make it tonight, sir.”

“Daniel back? Ask him for me, would you?” she heard an edge in the colonel’s voice that she didn’t understand.

“I…Um…” Why was it so hard for her to say that Daniel was in the shower? She hadn’t said anything about Denver or the hotel, either. She didn’t know why. It wasn’t like she had anything to hide. She was sharing a hotel room with her best friend. There were two beds. Maybe he hadn’t spent the entire night in his, but there was nothing wrong with that, either.

“Carter?” O’Neill asked in a tone that bordered on a command. “Ask him, would ya? It’d be easier to apologize in person.”

She thought it would be easier to make a gesture that seemed like an apology in person, but it still wasn’t an apology. She looked at the shower door. Daniel didn’t take very long showers, but he would not finish in time for her to pass the phone to him. “He can’t make it, either.”

“Ah, hell, is he still pissed at me? Let me talk to him.”

“I can’t,” Sam began. She looked at the floor in disgust. Military regulations made it hard for her to lie to her CO. The truth won. “He’s in the shower, sir.”

“Now Daniel’s in the shower? Carter, is there something I should know about?”

If there was something between her and Daniel, which there wasn’t, it wasn’t any of the colonel’s business. They’d left it in the room, no strings, no attachments. He had no claim on her. He hadn’t even been that upset about her dating Pete. A relationship with Daniel wasn’t against regulations. It could affect the team’s dynamics, possibly compromise it, but she didn’t think that it would ever be the case. She’d watched him risk his life on more than one occasion; she’d watched him die. He had done the same for her. They understood the sacrifices that each of them was willing to make. Earth came first, no matter what the cost. That wouldn’t change if there was a romantic relationship between her and Daniel.

“No, sir,” she answered, not adding that if there was, she wouldn’t tell him. “Daniel and I are going to be late. If there’s nothing else you need…”

“Gee, Carter, what’s the rush? You and Danny boy get a life?” O’Neill teased.

“We’re in Denver for the museum,” she said. It was close enough to the truth. “Goodbye, sir.”

She ended the call and put down the phone. She retrieved her tea, now slightly cold, and sipped from it slowly. It was a good thing the tea had cooled, or she would have burned her tongue when Daniel came out of the bathroom. She’d never seen him quite like this. His hair was wet against his forehead, and he was wearing jeans that hugged his hips tighter than anything she’d seen him in before now, as well as a t-shirt that matched his eyes and stretched taut against his well-developed chest. She had never seen him so…hot. She wished the colonel hadn’t made her so angry because she was tempted to give him something to know about, and she would not be thinking about Daniel this way if O’Neill hadn’t said what he did.

Daniel pulled at his shirt. “I think this shrank.”

“It didn’t shrink, Daniel. You built up muscles after all that time in the gym.” She set down her tea. “It looks good, Daniel. Trust me.”

“Really?”

She crossed to him and kissed his cheek. “Really. Come on, there’s a Starbucks out there with your name on it.”

“Do you think they have coffee around here?” Daniel asked.

Sam laughed, shaking her head. “Daniel, you just finished your Starbucks.”

“So? I need more. I always need more,” he answered with a smile. He started into the nearest gift shop, Sam following him. The smell of coffee guided him to a counter near the window. He got a large dark roast coffee, and Sam chose a flamingo vanilla chai.

Armed with their warm beverages, they left the shop. He squinted, trying to block out the sun’s bright glare. “Where do you want to go first?”

She took out the map they’d been given and opened it up, studying it for a moment. “The cats.”

He smiled at her, and they started down the stairs. They stopped on the landing, watching the small anteaters scurrying around the dirt. He could tell by the smile on her face that she thought they were cute.

As they passed a rock, he stopped to study a mock cave painting of the anteaters. It was her turn to smile at him as she gently pulled him by the arm, knowing he was reluctant to leave.

Sam crossed the path and looked at the empty enclosure. She frowned. “Where’s the lion?”

Daniel surveyed the nearby area. “I guess they’re inside. Let’s check back later, okay?”

“Okay,” she agreed, disappointment in her voice. He reached over and took her hand, squeezing it sympathetically.

“Come on, Sam,” he urged. He led her to the enclosure next to the feline house. They looked at the hyena-like scavenger and frowned at each other. Neither of them were quite sure why the more dog-like animal was in there with the cats, but Sam started inside, her hand tugging on his. He wanted to hold tighter; he wanted to let go. It was familiar, this sense of being torn in two. He had felt it around Sam for years now, but it had gotten worse.

He wished he had the courage to do something about it, even if it meant ruining their friendship—and his friendship with Jack—but he was a coward. He could face Goa’uld system lords, armed and undead Honduran rebels, even half-ascended beings—yet he was afraid of telling his best friend how he really felt.

“Oh, look at them, Daniel.” Sam exclaimed, drawing his attention back to the snow leopard in front of them. She snapped a picture and smiled at him again.

It hurt, that smile.

Daniel walked to the sign, pretending to read. He had to do something. He wasn’t going to ruin Sam’s day. The zoo was her choice. She’d wanted this day, and he’d wanted to give it to her. He had to make a decision, and he would. He would do his best to enjoy this day. He would be here, with Sam.

That was enough. He was happy just to be here.

He had to remember that. Holding Sam’s hand would help.

“I can’t believe I forgot batteries. I was going to pack them and—”

“Sam,” Daniel interrupted gently. “We are two feet from a gift shop. If you need batteries for your camera, we can get some. And… you don’t have to make up excuses to go in a gift shop. You know that, don’t you?”

She felt herself blush. If it was anyone other than Daniel, she might have thought he was flirting with her. But Daniel… No, Daniel was a good friend; that was all. He was safe. She shook her head. “I really do need batteries.”

He smiled at her. She smiled back, still feeling slightly…strange. She had been told that she was beautiful, but she also wasn’t a woman that men flirted with everyday. She’d like to blame all this weirdness on Pete’s death, but she wasn’t so sure. She thought it was more the colonel that was to blame.

She concentrated on looking at the stuffed animals, picking up a purse that was a penguin in an igloo, hoping that Daniel wouldn’t notice her mood. “Is it me?”

He laughed. “I’m not sure how to answer that, Sam. Except… I think this is more like you.”

He held up a small stuffed sea lion with giant, wide eyes. She laughed at him. Those puppy dog eyes were his, not hers. She took his arm to reinforce her point. “That is you, not me.”

He shook his head. “Nope. This is Sam the seal.”

“It's a sea lion.”

“Not anymore,” he disagreed, heading over to the register. Sam shook her head and put the purse back. She met Daniel, and he handed her a package of batteries.

“You didn’t have to do that, Daniel.”

He only smiled and led her out of the gift shop, pulling her over to the sea lion exhibit. As they stood against the rail, she felt him slip his arm around her waist. She looked at him, and he touched her nose with the seal. She giggled. She leaned into him and enjoyed the moment. Maybe he was thinking of Sarah—Sam couldn’t help but remember Pete, since he had asked her to come to this zoo—and if this was what Daniel needed, it was what she would do.

She wasn’t sure, but she thought that she might have needed it, too.

By unspoken agreement, they slowly walked around to the other side, watching the dark turquoise water. “They must still be on the other side.”

“At least they were out,” he reminded her. “And we got to see the sea otters and the polar bears swimming.”

“Yeah, we did,” she agreed. She consulted her map again. “How about the tropical discovery next?”

“Sounds good.”

“That is a big snake,” Sam said, studying the copper sculpture of an anaconda, tracing a finger across its head. Daniel repressed a shudder. He didn't want to think about snakes, not after so many encounters with the Goa'uld.

“It's ugly,” he said before he could stop himself.

“Ugly enough to be Anubis?” Sam asked, looking up from the sculpture with a grin. Her smile was contagious.

“Okay, the ugly one is Anubis,” he agreed, taking her by the hand and leading her away from the snake. He would rather see more of this exhibit—he really hoped there weren't too many snakes. He pointed to a lizard, and she dragged him over to the next window.

“That is beautiful,” Sam said in admiration, touching her fingers to the misted glass. “Too bad it's poisonous.”

He looked through the dense leaves until he spotted the small blue frog. “Poison dart, huh? You're right, though. It' s a nice shade of blue—matches your eyes.”

She looked at him with that incredible smile of hers again. He tried not to react to it, and with some mercy, she turned towards the next display. “Oooh, another snake. What should we call this one?”

“I think that one should be... Seth,” he decided, studying the small green snake.

“Yeah, I think you're right. As Goa'ulds go, he wasn't very fearsome,” she agreed, and they moved over into a section that was like walking in a true rainforest—albeit on a concrete path. It was definitely more even than the route he'd traversed in South America only weeks ago. Mist came down from the ceiling onto the varied foliage that brushed against them as they walked. The room was hot and humid, and Sam rolled up the sleeves of her sweater.

She watched the fish swimming in the water while he watched her. He enjoyed watching her, seeing her expressions of delight and wonder as she looked at the animals. The day was perfect. She was perfect.

And he was not.

He would have to leave SG-1. Maybe the SGC.

It wasn't a pleasant thought. The SGC was all he had. Sha're was dead, Abydos was gone, and his family was there. But he knew he couldn't go on like this. Geek Week had brought them closer, but he still remembered her answer to his question, remembered the feelings that he had sensed within her when he had accidentally shared with her. No, he had to leave. Sam didn't love him; she never would. And Daniel knew how Jack felt. He would not betray his friend. Either of them.

“Daniel,” Sam's voice broke into his thoughts. “What about this one? Imotep?”

His attention was drawn to a small snake with yellow triangles on its...er, back. He force a smile. “Sure. Sounds good.”

“And this one... Hathor?” Sam went on, pointing to the next window. He nodded absently, really trying not to remember that particular Goa'uld. “Okay, your turn. Name that snake.”

Daniel found himself pointed towards a live version of the anaconda statue that they'd dubbed Anubis. He swallowed hard. “I guess... Apophis.”

Sam gave him a sympathetic look and squeezed his hand. “We can stop if you want, Daniel. We don't have to—”

“I don't mind that, Sam, really,” he assured her. He reached out and touched her face gently, causing her to smile again. “I actually like naming these hideous snakes after evil Goa'uld.”

She giggled, and he guided her over to the stand in the middle of the room. She dug in her purse, and he got out his wallet, both of them contributing to rainforest conservation.

Feeling pleased, they exited into the warm sun and clear air of the day.

Sam looked at the wolves sleeping underneath the trees. They were such beautiful creatures, and she was surprised by how playful and at ease the fearsome predators were when they were at peace. They could almost be puppies. In a way, they reminded her of Daniel. He was so quiet, so unassuming, and people would never believe that such a large-hearted man could be such a... warrior. Teal'c had said it once, that it was an honor to fight alongside Daniel Jackson, and he was right.

Daniel was also studying the wolves. “I think you're like a wolf, Sam. It's hard to explain, but you....”

“I'm a dangerous predator?” she teased, enjoying his reddened cheeks as he tried to take back his words. “Now, you know, most men who hang around me do end up dead..”

“And some of us come back from the dead,” he said. She smiled at him. She hadn't really meant the joke when she'd said it, but his words made it... better somehow. She took out the map and looked at it.

Daniel leaned over her shoulder. His breath was warm against her neck. “If we take this path, we'll come full circle and end up back at the entrance.”

Sam considered his suggestion for a moment. “You know that's a lot of walking, don't you?”

“What, you want to miss half the zoo?” he asked, surprised.

“No,” she shook her head. “It's just... Daniel, you were shot in the leg not that long ago. And in the past three days, we've spelunked in a cave, toured an entire mueseum, and now there's all this walking to do at the zoo... Are you sure you'll be up to hiking tomorrow?”

“Sam,” Daniel's voice betrayed his exasperation. “Please. My leg is fine. I would tell you if it was a problem.”

She looked at him pointedly. He grinned sheepishly, knowing she'd caught him in the lie. She sighed. “Okay, But promise me if you are getting tired, you'll tell me, and we'll leave?”

He nodded. “Come on. There's a camel over here that reminds me of the one I had when I was five. I was on a dig with my parents...”

“We're going on the carousel,” Sam insisted.

Daniel looked at her and back at the merry-go-round. She was out of her mind. That was for little kids. Sure, there were adults on it, but they were all with their children. Funny. Sam hadn't been bothered by the sight of children today. Maybe she had finally accepted that she still had time, still had chances.

“We are not,” he began. “Sam—”

“No. I'm not allowing any excuses, Daniel. I know your leg has been bothering you for the past hour, and you refuse to admit you're tired or to rest. We've gone through the hoofed animals, the rhinos, the bird world and the garden, and you would have taken the nature walk around the lake if I'd let you,” Sam began.

“I am not an invalid, Sam. I'm fine,” he insisted. “And we would have sat down for that lorikeet show if it was open.”

“But that's only on the weekends,” she reminded him. They'd both been disappointed when they found out it was closed. “You need to rest or we're going back to the hotel.”

“Sam—”

“Carousel and the train. And no, I'm not letting you get out of this,” she told him firmly. He sighed. She was as bad as Janet sometimes, even as bad as Jack. And he couldn't even tell her that it wasn't his leg. It was her. Being with her.

He found himself slowing his pace, wishing he was somewhere else. He wanted to be here with Sam, but the experience was bittersweet. He was close to her, and yet he was so far from where he wanted to be. Sam took this as a sign that he was tired or that his leg was hurting.

His pride hurt. His ego. But not his leg.

“Okay, we will go on the carousel,” he agreed, finally. She beamed at him, and he wondered if he'd just been conned.

She got their tokens and led him over to the ride. She chose a cheetah for herself. He rejected the one she pointed to and climbed on the anteater. She frowned. He shrugged. “Next to you, I am an anteater.”

“With the heart of a lion, maybe,” she corrected, and he gave her a small smile for her trouble. “You remember what I said to you on Vis Uban?”

He nodded. She pointed at him. “Don't ever forget that, Daniel.”

The ride started, cutting off any reply he might have tried to make.

“If I promise to go window shopping in Estes, no matter how tired I am, do we still have to do this?” Daniel asked, frowning when he realized that his voice sounded whiny.

Sam laughed and pulled him along, wrapping her arm in his and running her fingers along his bare skin. She couldn’t get over his “new” look, the improved physique in the very flattering, form-fitting clothing that he’d worn today. He hadn’t meant to, but it made his look all the more appealing. She’d been getting jealous looks from happily married women and single ones alike all day, and it flattered her that they believed her to be so lucky as to have Daniel that way. She was lucky just to be his friend. He would make someone an incredible husband someday.

“Come on, Daniel,” she told him, pulling him by the arm as he dragged his feet even more slowly. She knew he was teasing. “I heard there was a good sale this week, and I’m not in Denver that often.”

“You heard there was a good sale?” Daniel asked in a soft, semi-horrified voice. She wasn’t so sure that he was kidding.

“You’re not the only one who listens to the nurses,” she told him with a smile. He groaned. She laughed. Daniel was not, by any means, a typical male, but he still hated shopping. She didn’t like it that much herself, but there was a good sale, and she could use some new things to replace ones that she’d worn with Pete, ones with memories that she couldn’t bear to have anymore.

“Daniel, please, there are advantages to mall shopping. We can get you some coffee if you like and there’s bound to be a chocolate shop.”

He turned and looked at her. “Sam, are you bribing me?”

“Maybe,” she replied coyly. “Is it working?”

“No.” She looked at him, incredulous. He shrugged. “Coffee or chocolate, that’s a bribe that gets you translation help or a backrub or me out of bed or something—”

“Or you stay the night at my place and comfort me?” she prompted, calling his bluff. “You only wanted coffee for that.”

“I drank two pots. Or more,” he added absently. “I can’t remember. Point being, there was a bit more coffee being offered than a twenty ounce something or other from an unknown mall coffee shop.”

“Daniel, you are such a snob,” she exclaimed.

“Only when it comes to coffee,” he shot back as she dragged him into a store proclaiming savings of 50 to 75% off. She grabbed his hand and led him to a clearance rack. She was idly browsing when she stumbled across a shirt with a foreign language on it. Most of the ones she had seen were in French or Italian, but this one wasn’t.

Behind Daniel’s neutral expression, he was definitely bored. She held the shirt out to him. “What does this say?”

He took the shirt from her and read it, smiling to herself as he did. “It’s…um…. It’s a love poem, Sam.”

“Really?” she asked, smiling. “What does it say?”

He was blushing as he shook his head. “It’s kind of racy…and kind of ridiculous…sappy, I guess you could call it.”

“Since when is Daniel Jackson a man afraid of a little sappiness?” she demanded playfully. She elbowed him. “Come on, read it to me.”

“‘Blue depths of the deepest ocean, rush to fill you with devotion.’ Um, Sam, I don’t care what you say, I’m not translating that in public… ‘Until the end of time, to the end of the Earth, a soul’s devotion is never over,’” he finished, waiting expectantly.

She wasn’t sure what he was waiting for, but she smiled. “Sam, I can’t believe you liked that. It’s one of the corniest poems I’ve ever read. I can’t believe they put it on a shirt.”

“It was cute,” Sam said defensively. “I’m going to get it.”

“What? Sam, you’re kidding.”

“Nope,” she responded in a singsong voice as she took her new acquisition to the register. She took a card out and handed it to the cashier. After a stunned moment, Daniel joined her as she scrawled her name across the slip. The cashier thanked her for coming in, and she smiled.

“I can’t believe you bought that.”

“Most people have no idea what it says,” she reminded him. “They’d just buy it for the artistic coloring and faded classic advertising in the background.”

“I know, Sam,” he said as they left the store, “but I know what it means.”

“Yes,” she grinned wickedly. “And you’re going to tell me.”

Daniel’s face got three times redder than it was earlier. She laughed.

“I don’t think there’s a store here you haven’t been in,” Daniel grumbled as he and Sam sat down at a table in the food court. He hadn’t meant to be short with her, but he was tired, and he’d never been comfortable in malls, not since that incident with his foster brother when he was twelve… He shook it off. Most of his fears had disappeared when he ascended—not much to be afraid of when you’ve discovered the secrets of the universe, but some of those painful memories that formed would not leave him alone.

“Daniel, there’s plenty of stores we haven’t been in,” Sam corrected as she picked up a fry from the gooey mess of chili and cheese in front of her. “You don’t have to complain so much. I found some nice stuff for you, too.”

“Yes, I can just see Jack making a crack about you dressing me,” Daniel muttered, putting his head down on the table.

“Eat something,” she ordered. He raised his head and looked at her. “You’ll feel better, Daniel.”

“That is not food,” he muttered, pointing to her fries.

“Could be worse,” she told him. “MRE, anyone? Would you like some macaroni and cheese, Doctor?”

He winced. “No, thank you.”

He reached for the gyro he’d gotten for himself and started eating. He wasn’t really hungry, but he supposed that he should take Sam’s advice and eat. Maybe he would feel better and could reclaim his good mood from earlier. The zoo had been perfect, being there with Sam, talking to her, laughing with her. He had done the worst thing, though, while watching her. He began to picture the future he would never have: a marriage to Sam, having children together, taking them to the zoo. And that was when his mood started to go bad, when he looked at her and the vision faded as he realized that it would never happen.

“Daniel, are you okay? You’re awfully quiet.”

He looked down at his half-eaten plate. “I’m not that hungry, Sam. You have any other stores that you want to go to before we leave?”

“A few other places,” Sam answered, smiling at the frown that he couldn’t stop himself from making. “Come on, Daniel. It will be worth it, I promise.”

“All right,” he agreed, picking up the trash and clearing the tray. The sooner he got to all the stores she wanted to see, the sooner they could get out of this place. He came back to the table and helped Sam pick up the bags.

Sam shifted her bags into one hand and wrapped her arm in his, leaning against him. “Thanks for doing this, Daniel. I know that you didn’t want to.”

“What makes you say that?” he asked, feigning ignorance and wondering if he was channeling Jack.

She laughed. “I have no idea.”

“Really, Sam, I don’t mind that much. Just promise me that these last few stores do not include Victoria’s Secret.”

Sam blushed, shaking her head. “No, they don’t. I…don’t really have a reason to go, Daniel.”

He nodded, silently adding her statement to the long list of proof he had that she would never think that way about him. The look she’d given him this morning, the way she’d kept touching him, it almost had him fooled.

Almost.

“How did I manage to buy so much stuff?” Sam wondered aloud as she surveyed the bags strewn about the hotel room. She’d never intended to get this much stuff, just a few things to replace clothes she’d worn out or would never wear again.

“I think the better question is, how did you manage to talk me into carrying all of this stuff,” Daniel observed, collapsing on the bed they’d designated “his” last night. He rubbed his forehead and the bridge of his nose. “Remind me why we had to bring all of this into the room tonight?”

“To repack before we drive to Estes Park tomorrow. We need this to be organized,” Sam said, waving a hand around.

“I should never have bought anything,” Daniel muttered.

“Come on.” She reached over to playfully shove his stomach. He rolled out of the way. “Daniel, that blue shirt will look fantastic on you. And the leather jacket was only prudent. I can’t believe you forgot to pack a jacket when we were going to the mountains.”

“A leather jacket is not something you wear hiking,” he protested. He sat up and looked at her. “Level with me, Sam. You didn’t drag me to the mall to make over my wardrobe, did you?”

“No,” she answered immediately, hurt that he would accuse her of doing something like that. She’d never wanted Daniel to change. He’d been forced to over the years because of life and the work they did as SG-1, but most times she wished he’d never been forced to leave the innocent, wide-eyed scholar behind. “Daniel, I suggested them because I liked how they looked.”

Too much, she added silently, thinking that Daniel in leather was a sight that would leave any woman panting. She forced the thoughts from her head. Daniel was her friend, nothing more.

“Okay, Sam,” Daniel agree, groaning as he rose and found the bags that were his. He dumped them out on the bed, and then put his duffel bag next to the clothes. “I would much rather do this in the morning.”

Sam shook her head as she went through the same steps as Daniel. She had far more to deal with than he did, and she would probably not be able to keep it all in one bag. As she picked up the shirt with the love poem, she had an impish thought and set it aside—for tomorrow. “We have to leave early tomorrow unless we want to stay in Estes for two nights.”

Daniel sighed. “I thought about it. But it’s rather expensive to stay in Estes, and so….”

“And?”

He shrugged. “I need another reason?”

“No,” she answered with a smile, sorting out what she would definitely not be using on this little trip. She folded those up and combined them into one of the larger shopping bags. “Daniel, you know you don’t have to pay for—”

“Don’t start that again, Sam. My finances are fine. This is just a rush job, an impromptu trip. So we have to get up early to make the most of our week. I’m okay with that. Really. But I’m not going window shopping tomorrow.”

Sam’s lips curled into a smile. That sounded like a challenge to her. She changed the subject. “Daniel, would you ever give up the SGC?”

He blinked. “Uh, Sam… I sort of have… You know, when I ascended?”

“Daniel, you were dying. That was different. I mean, now that you’re back, you said you found your place… would you leave the SGC?” she asked, sighing as she realized that she would need another shopping bag.

He paused, running his fingers over his jacket. “Maybe if we win the fight with the Goa’uld, I might consider going back to archeology, especially if the Stargate program went public. But, no, Sam, I don’t really think I’ll leave the SGC. Why?”

“I was wondering if I would. You know, resign my commission.” She saw a pained look on Daniel’s face. “I love my job. I love my career. But I want more than this, too. I had an image in my head of the house I’d one day live in. A dream house, semi-Victorian, with white trim, a bay window and a front porch, trees in the yard, plenty of space for kids, a master bedroom to get lost in, a living room with comfortable chairs, a dining room with high back chairs and a pompous set of fine china, a yellow kitchen… I thought I had that with Pete. But the SGC got in the way. I guess I’m really wondering if I can have that and still be a part of the SGC.”

“Of course you can,” Daniel answered immediately. “Sam, you don’t have to give up what you have to be happy. You can have a family and work at the SGC. It just didn’t happen with Pete because he couldn’t accept the secrecy. What you need is someone who will. Or maybe someone who already knows.”

Sam looked at him. Was Daniel talking about Jack? Did he know? Maybe he did. She’d made a big enough fool of herself over the colonel. Everyone probably knew. Especially Daniel, because he was so close to her.

“I wish it was that easy,” Sam told him. “There are other reasons why I can’t date someone from the SGC. Ranks and regulations, policies, the idea that I would have cultivated my relationship with someone to advance my career—”

“Sam, no one thinks that about you. You’ve proven yourself more times than anyone should. You’ve saved the world so many times. No one would believe you were any less capable if you started to date someone on the base,” Daniel told her, setting aside his repacked duffel and crossing to her. He put his hands on her shoulders. “Anyone that did would be stupid, and you shouldn’t care what they think.”

“Thank you, Daniel.” She stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. She stepped aside and turned back to her packing. She had to finish this—it wouldn’t take long—and then she could go to sleep, get ready for the next day.

Daniel quietly went into the other room to change, and she sighed. She knew that he was just trying to help, and she really didn’t mind his flattering means of reassurance, but she didn’t want to discuss Jack. Unless he retired or she resigned her commission, that would never happen. She didn’t want to dwell on that. It would only depress her.

She finished her packing and took out her nightclothes, setting them on the bed. She looked at them and smiled when she thought of what Daniel had dressed her in after Pete’s death. She still couldn’t believe he’d done it, yet she still could. It was very Daniel.

He came out of the bathroom, washed his hands and smiled at her before walking to his bed. She went into the other room and started getting ready for bed. When she came out, he was reading the book he’d picked up at the Barnes and Noble, one on burial customs of ancient civilizations that had been published in the year that he’d been gone. He’d been excited to read it because it was a look at cross-pollenization, even if the author wouldn’t admit it.

She looked at him. “Isn’t that a bad choice for right before bed?”

Daniel smiled at him behind the book. “Death isn’t that scary, Sam.”

She laughed. “I suppose you ought to know. It is frightening to be left behind, though.”

She went to her bed and sat down. Her hand reached to pull back the cover, and then stopped. She looked over at Daniel. He had closed his book, setting it and his glasses on the nightstand. He frowned at her. “Sam?”

“Maybe tonight… Since we have to get up early, maybe we should just…”

“Are you suggesting that we sleep in the same bed?” he asked.

Why does that question make me so nervous? She didn’t like being needy or feeling dependent. She didn’t like having to ask or knowing that she couldn’t sleep—not all night through—without this. “Just as a precaution. We have to be up early…”

“Sam,” he began gently, “there’s no need to explain. You don’t have to worry. I understand. And if it bothered me, I would have said so days ago.”

She shook her head at her own foolishness and went to him. He moved over and let her crawl in. She snuggled into his open arms and closed her eyes, secure and safe. She knew there’d be no nightmares tonight.