Author: Jess

Rating: PG

Summary: Who ever thought a bowl of Jell-o could make things so much better?

Subjects: Friendship, Humor, Fluff

Spoilers: Children of the Gods. Takes place around mid season 1 (The Nox or thereabouts)

Disclaimer: I don’t own them.  Never have, never will.  I just like to borrow them for a while.  I’ll try to return them in good condition.

Author's Note: This is my offering for the 2008 Sam/Daniel-Thon.  The prompt I took was "jell-o."  Many thanks to Amaranth Traces for the beta work and for helping me overcome my fear of writing action scenes. *grin*  You rock!


Sam felt her teeth digging into her bottom lip as she gently tugged at the small scrap of paper that was preventing her laser printer from functioning.  When she withdrew her forceps from the machine, only a miniscule shred of paper containing accordion-like folds was held within their pincers.  Relentless little bugger.  At this rate, she’d have the jam cleared in about fifteen years.

“Damn it,” she muttered.  Oh, it was definitely a conspiracy.  Her office equipment was out to get her.

She scowled at her computer, whose screen was still frozen in the middle of the spectral analysis she was trying to run.

“Think you’ve won, do you?”  With a defiant glare at the screen, she picked up a pad of paper and a pencil and began to quickly jot down the results her computer was displaying. 


“Argh!”  The broken pencil hurtled across the room, bouncing off the far wall and clattering to the floor.  It began rolling back toward her but wisely slowed and came to a stop near the leg of one of her lab bench stools.

Sam took a deep breath and closed her eyes, massaging her temples.  The tension headache that had started all those hours ago was now nagging all the way down to the base of her skull.  Food.  Food would be a good idea right now.  Anything with sugar.

She opened the bottom drawer of her desk, pushed the files as far forward as they would go, and gaped at the unfortunate sight that greeted her.  Instead of her emergency package of Oreos, there was a post-it note printed in neat block letters nestled at the back of the drawer.  


One package of yummy cookies.

Thanks, Boss!


Astrophysics Assistant Alice.  She was talented, she was hard-working, and...  Sam picked up the note and crumpled it in her fist.   “She is so fired,” she muttered.  Her stomach rumbled its discontent.  

The commissary.  That was where the food dwelled.  Sam stuck her tongue out at her computer monitor, turned on her heel, and left her office.

She stopped in the doorway to the commissary, staring into the deserted room.  There it was.  Heaven in a bowl, waiting just for her.

Picking up a spoon and the last remaining serving of blue Jell-o, she quickly settled down at her favorite table.  She was about to plunge her spoon into the dish when she heard the sound of approaching footsteps.

Tearing her eyes away from the sweet, gelatinous bit of happiness, she looked up at the intruder.

Seemingly oblivious to her presence, Daniel shuffled into the commissary, ever-present mug in tow.  He made a beeline for the coffee carafe, picking it up without hesitation as he muttered something unintelligible.  Sam couldn’t stop her grin.  The carafe emptied, and Daniel shook it a bit as if that would make more coffee magically appear.

“You want that as an IV drip instead?”

He jumped in apparent surprise.  “Sam!”

She felt her grin broaden as he recovered and a crease appeared between his brows.

“Uh.  What?” he asked.

“Never mind.”  Sam shook her head, smiling. “What are you still doing here?”

Daniel shrugged. “Oh, you know.  The usual.”  He flashed a half smile before placing his coffee on the table and taking the seat across from her.  “You?”

“Same.”  She smiled at him over her bowl.  “It’s nice to talk to someone though.”

“Yeah, I’ve been holed up alone for hours working on a translation.”  He took a slow pull from his mug.  “Just when I thought I’d had a breakthrough, I’d hit another wall.”

“I feel your pain.  My computer staged a coup.”

Daniel smiled and tipped his mug at her.  “To good company.”

“Hear, hear.”  Sam toasted him with a spoonful of Jell-o.

They sat in silence for a moment, enjoying their respective vices.

“So …”

Sam looked up to find Daniel squinting at her dessert. 

“What’s that like?”

Sam frowned. “You’re kidding, right?”

“It’s … blue.  I’ve eaten a lot of odd things.  But never … blue.”

She twitched an eyebrow at him. “Blueberries?”

“Those are more purple than blue.”

Sam snorted.  “Don’t change the subject.”

He shrugged again. “Although, to be honest, I’ve never had much Jell-o anyway.  I mean, I never…”

“You have to try it.” She loaded her spoon and held it out to him.  “Jell-o is good for the soul.”

She watched his eyebrows rise up close to his hairline.  “Ah … Okay.” As he was about to take the spoon, their fingers bumped. 


The blue blob wriggled off her spoon and plopped right into his coffee. 

She lifted her gaze from the coffee cup and found Daniel staring at her, his jaw slack.  “Um … oops,” she murmured, feeling her cheeks growing warm.

“That was the last of the coffee.”

“I didn’t—”  Sam stopped when she saw the hint of playfulness on Daniel’s face.  She smirked.  Two could play at that game.  “I know.  I was sitting here, hoping you’d drop by for the last cup of coffee so I could dunk my disgusting, sickeningly sweet Jell-o into it and ruin it for you.”  She folded her arms across her chest, smiling defiantly at him.  “What are you going to do about it?”

Daniel got up and walked from the table to the refrigerator case.  He removed a dish of red Jell-o and marched back to her.  “Well, Captain Doctor, I’ve heard rumors that you don’t particularly care for the red Jell-o.  Is that right?”  Grabbing a spoon, he loaded it with a large glob of the red stuff and flung it into her dish.

For a brief moment, Sam stared at it, barely believing what he’d done.  Then, looking back up at Daniel, she twitched her lips into an evil grin.  “You’re dead meat, Mister.”

She grabbed her spoon and bowl, clutching them to her chest.  She loaded her weapon and fired. 

Her triumphant laugh rang out as the Jell-o splattered across Daniel’s chest, staining his black t-shirt and part of his olive drab BDU jacket.  He seemed stunned but quickly recovered and readied his own weapon. 

Sam ran across the room for a defensible position.  There.  A table near the refrigerator case. 

She dove for cover as globs of goo rained down on her.  Tentatively, she felt at her shoulder.  Her hand came away covered with the familiar, red, jelly-like substance.  She’d taken a hit.  She risked peeking over her table to scope the enemy’s position.

Her eyes settled upon Daniel taking refuge by a table close to the doors, roughly southeast of her bunker.  Seemed he didn’t realize the critical vulnerability of remaining out in the open.

He was definitely going to get it.  Reaching into her bowl, she found her clip empty, save for a cube of Daniel’s red Jell-o “gift”.  Fight fire with fire.  She loaded up her weapon and flung it at him.  He ducked to the side, dodging the bullet.

She raced to the refrigerator case for another cartridge.  Damn, no Jell-o left.  But there was still pudding. Vanilla, chocolate, tapioca …

Tapioca.  An evil thought came to her, and she scooped up a bowl of the nasty substance, tucking it close to her chest as she rushed back to her refuge.  The room’s silence was broken by nearby sound.  Daniel was muttering in what sounded like annoyance.  Was he giving up?  Could she have this battle won so soon? 

“Surrender, Daniel. You know I’ve got you beat!”

“You think you have the corner market on strategic smarts? I’m just out of …” He seemed to be stuck for the right word. “…Help.”

Sam edged forward, poking her head out from behind the table. “I think the word you’re looking for is ‘ammunition’.”

He responded with a quiet snort.  “Thank you. But I’m still not going down without a fight.”

“Ooh, big talk.  Got any actions to back those words of yours up?”  Sam grinned.  He’d surrender soon enough when she had a handful of tapioca dangling over his head. 

Creeping silently up to his table, she found the toe of his boot sticking out.  Critical vulnerability, all right. Tsk. Sloppy, sloppy, Daniel.  She’d have to make a point of teaching him better stealth tactics.

Oh, this would be sweet.  She readied her weapon and peeked around the corner of the table. 

An empty boot?!  She’d been decoyed! That conniving little …

Suddenly hearing a soft noise, she turned to find him quietly opening the fridge case.  Now he was commandeering her munitions supply, gaining the upper hand and putting her at a tactical disadvantage!

If that wasn’t bad enough, he was reaching for a dish of … uck, cottage cheese?  Now that was playing dirty. 

Sam waited until Daniel quickly turned his head back in her direction, probably checking if the coast was clear.  It was the perfect opportunity.  She launched the tapioca pudding at him.  It splattered all over his face and his glasses. And, judging from his spluttering, right in his mouth. Sam couldn’t stop herself from tossing her head back and letting out a howl of laughter.

Daniel spit it out, removed his glasses and pushed his tapioca-colored hair away from his eyes.  “Ugh! I hate this stuff.”

She brushed a tear from the corner of her eye. “You hate tapioca?”

“Let’s just say we’ve had a history together.”

She couldn’t pity him.  It was just so funny.  Falling prey to hysteria, she almost didn’t notice him recovering and grabbing a slice of Shoo-Fly Pie from the fridge.  She ducked.  Too late.  The sticky dessert hit her on the side of her neck.

Daniel seemed faster on the uptake this time.  She scrambled over to the fridge cases herself, but took a chocolate pudding hit to the shoulder before she got there.  Daniel’s triumphant whoop only added insult to injury. 

The closest available weapon was a dish of fruit salad.  She grabbed it and began furiously lobbing grapes across the room.  “Incoming!” she shouted.

“Ack!” Daniel shielded his face with his arms as he took cover alongside a table several yards back.  It didn’t do much good.  Grapes pelted him, some even getting stuck in his hair. 

That was when he surprised her with a secret weapon of his own. A small container of pineapple wedges. He peeled back the cover, grinning at her, as he reached for his ammunition.

Sam tried to dodge the fire, but the soggy bullets ricocheted off the side of her face.  She hid her surprise behind an air of bravado. “Fighting dirty, aren’t you?”

Daniel’s lip curled up in a playful smirk. “As long as you are.”

They’d have to run out of supplies sooner or later. Sam’s eyes quickly darted over to the dessert case.  Probably sooner rather than later.

She looked back at Daniel. He was a mess, marred by the soggy wounds of battle.  But that little playful smirk remained and was joined by a quiet little chuckle. 

Sam smiled.  Had he laughed at all since they’d first joined SG-1?  She couldn’t recall. But seeing him release some of the tension that had built up over the past several months made her happy.  It was good for him and for the team, so she knew she needed to do this.  He needed this.

It really was–


Ouch. Another pineapple bullet to her torso.  Unspoken rule #3697: While engaged in battle, try not to let your mind wander.  Or at least take better cover first. 

Sam dove behind another table.  The barrage of incoming pineapple slowed.  He must be out of ammunition again.  She prepared the last of her fruit salad and peeked out from her cover, ready to really let him have it.

She didn’t count on him saving her the trouble.  He jumped up from his stronghold and slipped on the tapioca-laden floor, landing with a grunt on his backside.

Ow.  Okay, game over.  While this turn of events technically meant she’d won, seeing Daniel sprawled on the floor led her to his side.

“You okay?” she asked, reaching down to help him up.

He winced, taking her hand.  “Bruised my ... ego.”  Then his wince turned to a mischievous smirk and he pulled her right down with him, laughing all the way.

Half dazed, she turned to him and caught his amused grin. “Well, I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.”

“Aren’t you?”

Conceding his point, Sam gave a little shrug. “Well, yeah. But it’s good to see you laugh.”

“As ridiculous as this was, I think I really needed it.”

“Me too.”  God, it felt good to laugh. And her headache had finally subsided.

Daniel briefly looked around the room and then down at himself. “Cleaning up’s not going to be much fun, though.”

Sam grinned. “Probably not.  For now, let’s just focus on getting up, okay?”

“I might be able to do that.”

“What has transpired here?”

That baritone voice could only belong to one person. 

Sam risked a glance in that direction anyway.  “Teal’c!  What are you doing here at … uh, this late hour?”

“I was unable to Kel’no’reem and believed some exercise would be beneficial.  I was approaching this corridor when I heard the sounds of battle.”

Sam laughed uneasily.  “Uh ...” 

She turned to find Daniel combing his fingers through his hair.  He’d pulled out a blob of tapioca and was studying it intently.  She barely had time to register the evil gleam in his eyes before he flicked it at her.  So, the game wasn’t quite over after all.

Teal’c tilted his head.  “What is the significance of this activity?”

“Ah, well...”  Sam glanced desperately at Daniel and was relieved when he took over the explanation.

“This sort of thing helps people unwind and relax after a stressful situation.”

Teal’c was studying them again.  Sam caught yet another dangerous glint in Daniel’s eye as he picked up a discarded cube of Jell-o from the floor and aimed it at her.  With a move that would make James Bond proud, Sam smoothly ducked her head, successfully dodging the surprise attack.  She clapped a hand over her mouth as the wobbly red projectile splattered squarely against Teal’c’s chest. 

Teal’c looked down at his splattered t-shirt.  “I do not believe it has achieved the desired effect.”

Her laughter spilled out from behind her hand as she and Daniel collapsed again into a snickering pile on the floor.  What a release.  No doubt about it.  Jell-o was definitely good for the soul.


Back to Main Fanfic Page