Subjects: Friendship, Romance, Angst, Unrequited Love/UST
Pairings: Sam/Daniel; hypothetical Daniel/Vala implied at beginning
Spoilers: Children of the Gods, Forever in a Day, Avalon, Beachhead, Memento Mori, and a very vague spoiler for The Shroud.
Summary: After a talk with her future self, Sam tries to fix things in hopes of making the future a little brighter. Sequel to Listen to Yourself.
Warning: Adult themes
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters do not belong to me; they are the property of MGM/Showtime/The SciFi Channel/Sony Pictures, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Film Corporation. This story is written solely for entertainment purposes and is not intended for commercial profit. This story is copyrighted January, 2007 and may not be used or altered without the express permission of the author.
He was sitting at his desk, elbows propped up and hands clasped. His clear blue eyes were bright with curiosity and his lips were slightly pursed.
After several moments, he gave her a slight nod of encouragement. She hadn't seen it, however.
No, what she saw was different. She saw herself and Daniel in his office, quite a few years from now. He was packing things away, as the Stargate Program had been de-funded, leaving him no reason to stay.
They were in the middle of an argument. His eyes were narrowed, his lips curled back in a snarl.
“What do you mean, you and Vala are together??” she demanded.
“Just what I said,” he replied flatly, turning his back on her to gather more artifacts from his shelves.
“But ... but,” she stammered.
Suddenly whirling around, he threw his arms up. “Why does it matter to you anyway?!” he shouted in frustration.
“Because!” she yelled back, hot tears rolling down her cheeks. “Because I love you!!” She noted how this seemed to throw him for just a split second before his frustration returned. “I have for a very long time ... I always have.”
“Well, you could have told me that when it really mattered, couldn't you?” he said coldly.
His words and tone struck like a hammer driving a rusty nail into her heart. But, he wasn't done ...
“Yes, Sam, I loved you. I loved you as a friend while Sha're was still alive, and I loved you as a friend after she died. It started getting deeper but I had to push it back because I knew you had something for Jack -”
“But that's not true, Daniel!” she cut in. “I didn't love him the way I--”
“Sam, would you let me finish?!” he shouted. “I wanted to get closer to you and I harbored the hope that you did love me more than as a friend. I knew that was impossible because of Jack, but even after he left for Washington and you came back from Area 51, it was business as usual. You've never given me any indication that you wanted to be more than friends. At least Vala has shown her feelings to me. At least she has been forthright and isn't afraid to tell me how she feels!”
He'd driven the nail into her heart; now he was tearing it to shreds. “You tell me now that you love me, that you always have. Well, Sam, it's too little, too late. Vala has my heart, and you're going to have to accept it,” he finished frigidly, turning back around to face his bookshelf.
All she could do was stand there and stare as he picked up her mutilated heart and kicked it into the trash bin. His back to her, he was picking books off of the shelf and throwing them into the box on his desk in an aggressive manner. Not only was there no chance of her having a serious relationship with Daniel, but her friendship with him now seemed damaged. All she could do was stare, wondering how things had gone wrong and how she could have prevented this ... if she could have prevented this.
“Are you still here? I'm very busy,” she heard him say impatiently. She chose to ignore it.
Her eyes blinking furiously, she realized Daniel had his hand on her shoulder, nudging her gently. She afforded a glance at him and found his expression full of concern. She had snapped back into reality – into the here and now. The horrible scene she'd just witnessed hadn't really happened; hadn't happened yet, anyway. Realizing that it could have happened, especially after what her future self revealed, was a sobering thought and her eyes widened. “Oh, my God,” she murmured.
“Sam, are you okay?” Daniel asked gently, bringing himself a bit closer to her.
Her gaze flew back to him and she shook her head, as if to clear it. “Uh ... yeah, I'm fine. I just have a lot on my mind.” He looked at her expectantly, prompting her to continue, “I was just thinking about what I'd seen of the future, twenty years from now.”
Daniel nodded. “You did say that things could have been better,'” he recalled.
“Uh huh. Where do I begin? I was ... um ... working as a curator at the Aeronautics and Space Museum.”
A small grin flitted across his face. “Now, tell me I wasn't expecting that,” he teased gently.
She chuckled softly, his words and smile instilling her with a bit of warmth.
“Is that really so bad?” he continued, a hint of gentle mocking remaining in his voice.
She uttered a short, wistful laugh. “Normally, it wouldn't be.”
Daniel gazed at her inquisitively. “What about Mitchell and Teal'c?”
Sam's smile faded and she shook her head.
Lowering her gaze, she frowned. “He had, um, passed away several years earlier,” she replied somberly.
Daniel's gaze dropped to the floor. “Oh,” he said quietly, sounding quite uncomfortable. In an seemingly desperate attempt to change the subject, he looked back up at her and said, “And me?”
If he was uncomfortable learning Jack's fate, Sam was made even more uncomfortable by this latest question. She heaved a sigh. “You and ...” she started.
“Me and who?” he prompted, raising his eyebrows.
“You and Vala are together ... married,” she mumbled quickly.
Daniel's reaction wasn't the one she expected in the least. His eyes widened for a moment before an incredulous expression overtook his face. “Well, that's really ... odd,” he said, suddenly breaking out in laughter.
She gazed at him in confusion at first, and then joined him. She stopped laughing abruptly, her expression becoming sad once again. Daniel seemed to notice it and calmed down as well, fixing her with a curious look.
“Yes, things were very ... interesting. My older self didn't seem too happy about it. I mean, she was happy in what she was doing, but she had something missing from her life.”
“And that is what's bothering you,” Daniel surmised.
Sam nodded. “Yes. She said some things that really got me thinking, thinking about my life as it is now, about my relationships with people, and how I need to act so they don't pass me by.”
“What are you talking about, Sam?” he asked, brows drawn together in confusion.
“I saw the older you and Vala at the museum,” she began. “I saw the way you treated Samantha – my older self. The sense of friendship and camaraderie was just gone. She tried to tease you and you took offense to it. It seemed that Vala was the only one who mattered to you.”
Daniel seemed a bit surprised at first, but, as he took it all in, Sam found his eyes glistening with sympathy. “Samantha was a little upset about it when we talked later. She told me she had these feelings for you, but had never acted on them. Teal'c had told her that it made you think she wasn't interested. She said that she and you – the older you – had grown apart over the years and she wished she could have done something to change the outcome. As we talked, it made some pretty strong feelings come out, feelings that I really need to come to terms with, and those feelings involve you, Daniel.”
Daniel gazed at her intently. “Sam, are you saying what I think you're saying?”
She nodded, her eyes stinging with unshed tears. “Daniel, I care about you more than the bounds of friendship should allow. I've had these feelings for quite a while now, but I was afraid to admit them because I didn't know if you felt the same way.”
Moving closer to her, Daniel pulled her into a hug. “Oh, Sam,” he breathed, stroking the back of her head. “I did feel the same way. No, I do feel the same way. I've felt this way about you for some time, ever since the pain from Sha're's death had eased. But, by that time, I thought you were in love with Jack, so I tried to put my feelings aside.”
She eased out of their hug and separated from him, gazing at him sadly. “It was never that way, Daniel,” she confessed. “Yes, there was some element of physical attraction between us. Yes, part of me did hope at one time that I could have a serious relationship with Jack O'Neill. But, I realized that it wouldn't have worked out. I saw him once when I was at Area 51 and I laid all my cards on the table. It was then that I realized we were too different.”
Daniel gave her a questioning look, prompting her to continue, “I wanted a family; he didn't, no matter how much he loves kids. He said he was too old. He wanted someone to share his enthusiasm of hockey and fishing, and you know me well enough to know where I stand on those two.” Daniel nodded, giving her a cute little grin that helped her relax a bit more. “I just ... I don't know. I looked at him and I didn't see the same magic I thought I'd seen some years back. He didn't seem too invested in a relationship, either. He told me that, had I said something four years ago, maybe we would've had a chance.”
Gazing into her eyes, Daniel held Sam's hands in his own. The simple action instilled more courage in her to bare her soul to him. “It was then that my feelings for you really hit me. I won't deny I felt a little jealous when I talked to you on the phone and you told me about your, um, unfortunate situation with Vala.” Her cheeks briefly turned a shade of pink. “I didn't get much of a chance to tell you how I felt when I came back. The situation never really presented itself, I guess. Okay, that's a stupid excuse. I never really worked up the nerve. I didn't say anything after Vala returned either, because the fear that you might not have felt the same way I felt about you returned in full force. You started spending more time with her and so I tried to bury these feelings for you. I thought that, if I never came to terms with them, if I tried to put them out of my mind, I'd be okay. Samantha proved me wrong.”
Daniel's eyes clouded over with sadness once again. “Sam, I need to tell you something, just to put your fears to rest. There is nothing between Vala and me. I care about her as a friend and coworker, but nothing more. I regret that you and I haven't spent as much time together as we used to. I think we need to fix that right now.” His cerulean blue orbs pierced her blue-gray ones. “Sam, you have held my heart for much longer than I've known Vala. I'm sorry that I didn't admit it sooner, but, now that you know how I feel, I hope we can consummate our feelings for one another.”
Sam blinked. “Daniel, are you saying that ...”
“That I love you and want to be with no one but you? Only if you're saying the same about me,” he smiled tenderly, a touch of hope in his eyes.
She met his eyes with deep admiration. “Yes,” she declared, embracing him tightly. He captured her lips in a tender kiss that seemed to last forever, as hands caressed uncovered flesh and fingers ran through hair, blond and brown. Sam whimpered softly as Daniel's tongue tickled the inside of her mouth, not plunging its way in, but seemingly carrying the promise of things to come.
After a mini episode in ecstasy, the two separated. Sam's heart filled with joy and utter relief at having revealed her feelings for Daniel. The look in his eyes told her he felt the same way. After sharing a tender gaze, Daniel moved even closer to her, so close that his features became almost blurred. “So, dinner tonight at six?” he asked softly.
Sam nodded. “Yes,” she repeated with a wide smile.
“Great. I'll pick you up at your place, and then we can have dessert at mine,” he told her suggestively with a wink of his eye.
Grinning in expectation, Sam pulled apart from him and made her way toward the door She stopped only to give him a grateful smile before slipping out of his office and down the hall.
Dinner that night was a quiet, intimate affair, Daniel taking Sam to a charming little Italian restaurant. It was even nicer than the place he'd taken Vala for dinner as thanks for her good behavior. It had to be; he and Sam were now seriously involved. They were going on a real date.
Daniel kept his promise about dessert and actually had chocolate walnut cookies and coffee waiting back at his house. The real treats came later, however. They were seated on the couch, talking about all they had been through together over the years and how wonderful it was that they no longer had to hide their feelings for one another.
“It's about time, isn't it --” Sam began and then was suddenly cut off as Daniel covered her lips with his own. The kiss quickly grew hungry, their tongues mingling, closeness achieved in more ways than one. His hands pulled back the soft fabric of her dress and caressed the flesh underneath. She'd removed his glasses and set them precariously on the coffee table before her hands journeyed through his hair, down his neck, and under his shirt.
Silently suggesting they continue their make out session somewhere a lot more comfortable, Daniel brought them up to a sitting position. Rising from the couch, they headed for his bedroom, never separating.
They removed what clothing was left and resumed kissing, fondling, and everything in between. Sam moaned in ecstasy, reveling in her lover's touch. This was something she had dreamed about doing with Daniel for quite a long time. How wonderful it felt to finally experience it without any guilt or regrets. But, the best was yet to come.
Cradled in her soft thighs, Daniel brought himself on top of Sam and fully joined with her. The pleasure he felt as he became one with Sam was unparalleled. Joy overflowed his heart and he felt like singing. Try as he might, all he could get out was a deep moan.
Sam, mired in the throes of unbridled passion, was trying to contain her excitement to no avail. As she joined Daniel in climax, she began reciting his name in a deep, guttural growl. Daniel wasn't the first man who'd made love to her, but there was no question that he was the best. He was the one who made it feel wonderful, and she silently promised he'd be the last.
At last, they collapsed back onto the bed, joined in each other's arms amidst tangled bed sheets. The large flame of ecstasy they shared began to wane and was replaced by a sense of deep love and fulfillment. They'd finally revealed their deep feelings to each other in full. There was no need to hide them, no need to second-guess anything.
The realization that they could rest easy now only added to the pleasant, languid feeling that had begun to overtake them. Turning, Sam met Daniel's gaze and found a man whose heart, like her own, was now at peace. She offered him a drowsy but content smile.
“I love you,” he breathed in reply. He bestowed one last, soft kiss on her lips before joining her in a deep sleep.
In a lovely two-story house surrounded by a well-manicured yard, Samantha sat reading a magazine. Shifting somewhat in the chair with carved mahogany arms, she stopped to adjust her glasses. They were quite small, rimless, and, her husband insisted, quite attractive. Replacing the glasses on her face, her gaze settled on a framed photo of her and said husband. Her expression radiated love and warmth at the sight of him. She knew she was truly lucky.
She'd only returned shortly to her reading when she was interrupted by someone coming up behind her. She blushed slightly, not expecting the intruder who put his arms around her and gave her a soft kiss.
“How did your day go, hon?” he asked softly. The man was clean-shaven, wore wire-framed glasses as attractive as her own, and had light brown hair that had grown out a little.
“Fine, Daniel,” she replied, kissing him back. Standing, she headed over to the couch with him and sat down. “How was your day?”
“Oh, not too bad,” he shrugged. “Spent most of the day grading papers. One of my students tried to con me into extending the deadline. Can you believe that?”
She gave him a teasing grin. “Actually, I can. You've long had a reputation for being a nice guy.”
He sighed wearily. “You know, after all I've been through ... missions through the Stargate, losing my wife to a race of despotic aliens, dying more than once, dealing with a - seemingly – morally bankrupt alien partly responsible for alerting yet another alien race to our galaxy's existence, becoming corrupted by that same alien race, and, finally, fighting to keep the Stargate Program from being shut down ... you'd think I'd be able to shed that image.”
Sam gazed at him thoughtfully. “I don't think anyone has been through the kinds of things you have over the years, Daniel. It was one hell of a ride for you.” A playful smile replaced her serious expression. “But, still, at the end of the day, you're a nice guy.”
Daniel rolled his eyes.
“And I like it that way,” she finished, giving him a quick kiss on the lips.
“Well, I guess I can't argue with that,” he smiled.
Nodding, Sam rose from the couch and headed for the kitchen where two cups of coffee were waiting. “Oh, I heard from Jake again today. He told me he got an A on his Anthro 101 midterm exam,” she said, handing him a cup.
“Mmm,” Daniel replied, taking a sip. “That's great. What about his other classes?”
“Oh, um, B+ on his Astronomy exam,” she mumbled, suddenly taking great interest in her coffee. She lifted her gaze in time to catch Daniel giving her a playful, almost smug expression. “Oh, stop it,” she retorted, swatting him across the chest with her free hand. “It's not like it's such a big deal.”
“Said the woman who would sulk in her room if she got less than ninety percent on her exams,” he teased.
She stuck her tongue out at him in reply, suddenly feeling thirteen years old and not the sixty-two that she really was – definitely a young sixty-two. Conceding defeat, she chuckled and settled back onto the couch. “He really is a smart kid. We've been blessed, Daniel.”
Daniel nodded in agreement as she moved closer to him. She contentedly rested her head on his shoulder. “What?” he questioned the broad smile on her face.
Sam shook her head. “I'm just so happy at the way things have turned out for both of us. I wouldn't have it any other way.”
“I definitely cannot argue with that,” he agreed, meeting her lips for a tender kiss.
Back to Main Fanfic Page