Chapter 10

“That was horrible!” Sam exclaimed as she and Joe exited the bowling alley and began walking in the direction of O’Malley’s.

“No, you didn’t do too badly!” Joe insisted, grinning as he held Sam’s arm and they stepped off of the curb.

“Whatever,” she conceded. “I do stink at bowling, though.”

“Yeah, well, don’t you worry, I’m going to teach you and teach you until you become a pro! Mark my words!” he joked.

Sam wanted to sigh miserably when she heard that, but in the end she just forced a laugh.

“I’m serious!”

Sam shook her head and forced another laugh, blushing madly. They’d just passed the bookstore when she stopped in her tracks.

“What?” Joe asked, looking at her curiously.

“I thought I heard something,” she said tentatively.

Joe shrugged his shoulders.

“I don’t know, it almost felt like we were being watched,” she continued.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, there’s no one really around here,” Joe said, gesturing around with his arms.

The feeling passed Sam and she simply shrugged her shoulders before they continued walking.

“Where are you parked?” he asked once they’d gotten near O’Malley’s.

“Um, over there,” Sam replied as she pointed toward the fourth row of parking spaces set back from the restaurant. “I’m the teal green Ford Taurus.”

“Ah, nice,” Joe remarked. “I’m parked over here, the black Honda Civic,” he said as he gestured to the third row of spaces.

Sam nodded.

“So … uh …” he began as he looked around once more. “Why don’t we sit down for a while and talk?”

Sam’s face nearly blanched as she noticed he was pointing to his car. She wondered if he was hoping to make out with her.

“Um, you know, it’s getting late,” she said nervously as she glanced down at her watch. She felt stupid when she realized it was only about 8:30.

“It’s 8:30!” Joe laughed incredulously. “And it’s a Friday night! What’s the matter, do you have to be somewhere early tomorrow?”

Sam frowned at his question. The way he had phrased it, coupled with the tone of his voice made it sound like he was belittling her.

“Um … no …” she trailed off awkwardly.

“Then let’s sit and talk for a while!” he insisted, grinning once again. “The evening is still young, right?”

“Yeah,” she finally nodded, forcing a little smile.

Joe gave her another brilliant smile as he unlocked the door and opened the passenger side for her. Sam entered and wrinkled her nose slightly. The smell of the interior was an interesting mix of cigar smoke, rug shampoo, and raspberry. She looked up and saw one of those tree-shaped air fresheners hanging from his rear view mirror. As she shifted her legs in an attempt to get more comfortable, she heard a slight tinny sound. She looked down at her feet and found an empty, slightly dented beer can tossed on the floor.

Oh, boy, she thought. She hoped all Joe wanted to do was talk. She took out her car keys and held them at the ready, just in case.

“I didn’t know you smoked,” she blurted out to him as he entered the car.

“Oh, uh … I’ve been trying to quit, but it’s harder than I thought,” he laughed nervously.

Sam forced a smile and nodded. “Cigar aficionado, I take it?”

“Yeah. How did you know?”

“I have a pretty strong sense of smell,” she said dryly.

Joe’s face cracked open in a wide grin, and Sam blushed madly.

“Well, let’s get some music on in here, shall we?” he said as he stuck his key in the ignition and turned it slightly so that the radio was operable. Sam shrugged as he hit one of the preset stations, which turned out to be a modern rock station.

Sam looked around uneasily as she noticed Joe fumbling inside the glove compartment. He finally removed a package of chewing gum, opened it up, and popped a piece in his mouth.

“Here, want one?” he asked, holding a piece out for her.

“Uh … sure,” she replied, dumbly accepting it from him. She didn’t really want a piece, but she was so nervous that she suddenly felt like chewing something.

As she began to chew the piece of peppermint gum, she heard No Doubt’s “Don’t Speak” blaring from the speakers and she winced.

“Um, c-can you lower that a little?” she stammered.

“What, you think it’s too loud?” he asked, a touch incredulous.

“Well, yeah,” she said uneasily.

Joe shrugged. “Okay, then.” He lowered the volume a notch, and while it was a bit better, it was still on the loud side.

After he adjusted the volume on the radio, he leaned back in his seat, looked over at Sam and grinned, chewing his gum the entire time.

Sam looked at him at first and smiled politely. Her eyes seemed to glaze over as the lyrics to “Don’t Speak” pierced the silence between them:

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me ‘cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me ‘cause it hurts.

Suddenly she thought back to Daniel and what had occurred the last time she saw him. She began to wonder once again if he was right and she was making a mistake.

“Are you okay?” Joe suddenly asked her.

Sam shook herself out of her glazed stare as she tried to shove thoughts of Daniel away for the time being.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she said unconvincingly.

Joe smiled at her again.

“I have to tell you, I had a very nice time tonight,” he said. She thought he sounded sincere, but wasn’t quite sure.

Sam nodded and gave him a half smile. “Thanks, so did I.”

Joe smiled broadly and nodded. “So, I hope you can handle this; I’m going to put you on the spot again.”

A tiny fear welled up deep within her. “Okay,” she said quietly.

“So, what do you think of this evening? Did you have a nice time? I mean, really?” he grinned expectantly.

“Uh … sure. Sure, I did,” she nodded.

Joe’s grin grew wider upon hearing this. “And, what did you think of me? Am I what you hoped for, or what you expected?”

Sam blushed faintly. “Um … yeah,” she said awkwardly. She noticed him searching her face and she smiled shyly. “Yeah,” she confirmed.

“Great!” he said happily. “I think you’re a sweet, lovely, very beautiful woman,” he gushed. “You’re much better looking than your picture!”

Sam didn’t know whether to accept that as a compliment or not. She merely nodded and muttered a weak “thanks.”

“Okay, time to put you on the spot again,” he said eagerly. “What are you going to tell your parents about me?”

Sam gave him an odd look and raised an eyebrow. “My parents?” she repeated incredulously. She wondered if this was a line he used on all of his dates.

“Yeah, I know you said your dad is far away, but you talk to him on the phone. I’m sure your mom must live closer, right?”

Sam gave him a hard stare. “My mom died 25 years ago,” she said in a quiet, incredulous voice.

Joe suddenly stopped chewing his gum, blushed deeply and covered his mouth with one hand. “Oh, oops, I forgot you told me that. Sorry,” he said regrettably.

“It’s okay,” she replied half-heartedly.

“But you said you talk to your dad on the phone,” he continued, recovering. “What are you going to tell him about me?”

Joe’s goofy smile was beginning to annoy Sam, and for a brief moment she felt like slapping him across the face. She was still in the car, though, and the doors were locked, so she changed her mind.

I’m going to tell him that you were a pain in the ass all night with your ridiculous questions, she thought to herself.

“I’m going to tell him that I met a nice guy and had a nice time with him,” she said instead. Joe’s smile grew wider, if such a thing was possible.

“So, is it okay if we go out again? Would you mind that?” he inquired.

Sam looked at him almost like a deer in headlights as he put his arm around her and pulled her close to him. The close contact was something she hadn’t experienced in quite a while, and she seemed to lose the ability to reason as she nodded slowly.

Joe looked down at her with a toothy grin. “That would be great. Would Sunday be okay?”

“Uh … S-Sunday?” she suddenly stammered as she struggled to get the rational side of her brain to regain control.

“Yeah,” he replied. “If we’re going to go out, it can’t be a one-shot deal, or something where we go out tonight and then don’t see each other for two weeks!” he chuckled.

Sam shrugged slightly. “I have to see if I’m doing anything,” she replied, her voice suddenly sounding as if it didn’t belong to her.

“Okay, I’ll call you on Saturday, then,” he said, still with his arm around her and patting her on the shoulder. “And maybe I can meet your dad.”

She raised a curious eyebrow at him.

“I’d like to meet him eventually, you know,” he continued.

“Oh, yeah, I’m sure,” she nodded. “Actually, he should be getting some leave soon, so he’s supposed to come out for a visit.”

“Great, I’d love to meet him then!” Joe exclaimed.

Sam smiled and nodded.

“Now, can I ask you something else?” he suddenly blurted out as his face moved very close to hers.

The tiny fear reminded Sam of its presence and she swallowed hard. “Okay.”

“Would you mind if I kissed you?”

Sam’s jaw dropped, earning an affectionate chuckle from Joe.

“I … um …” she cleared her throat nervously. “What exactly do you mean by ‘kissed’?”

What difference does it make? Sam, you know he’s not right for you. Stop kidding yourself and take control of the situation.

“Oh, just a small, tender kiss – not something where I’d stick my tongue down your throat!” he joked.

“I … uh …” Sam stammered.

Before she could answer, Joe edged up to her and held her face in his hands as his lips formed a tight seal against her own.

Okay, it’s time to put the brakes on.

Sam felt helpless as Joe enveloped her in a tender, but wet, kiss. She could feel his tongue up against the inside of her lips, searching and almost asking permission to shove itself deeper inside. Sam heard herself utter a soft groan. It wasn’t the result of pleasure, but of regret, as she realized that she didn’t like where this was going.

She was about to break the contact between them when Joe saved her the trouble. He must have heard the groan and thought she needed to come up for air. His lips parted from hers, and she stared up at him, wide-eyed. As she looked at him, she realized that she didn’t find him attractive at all, and that she’d been kidding herself nearly the whole evening. She knew this was wrong and that she had to put a stop to it.

She was about to tell him she had to get going when he suddenly grabbed her by the arms and pinned her up against the seat as he began to kiss her hard. Her eyes became as wide as saucers as she felt his tongue go deep inside her mouth. She was almost afraid that she’d choke on it.

Sam, don’t let him do this.

She tried to resist, to break free, but he was amazingly strong and had her pinned against the seat. On top of that, the doors were locked and she couldn’t reach the button to unlock her door. He began snaking his fingers through her hair as he continued to kiss her.

Sam’s face drained of color as she realized his hands were traveling down her body from the back of her head to her shoulders and around to her chest. She realized what he was about to do as he started caressing and fondling her breasts. She should have been aroused by the action, but she was utterly disgusted when her eyes met Joe’s and she saw the insatiable hunger in them.

Sam, what are you doing? You can stop this! Don’t let him get away with it!

She wanted to stop him, as she was afraid of where this would lead, but she found herself utterly helpless. It was as if he had total control over her, and there was no room for compromise. Joe had succeeded in getting her black cardigan off halfway, and was trying to find some way to pull the top of her dress down when she let out a quick, sharp gasp, and he realized he still had her in a lip lock.

He finally pulled away from her and looked soulfully into her eyes. He looked as though his hunger hadn’t been completely satisfied, and as though he wanted much more from Sam before they parted ways. She panted and stared at him, looking utterly lost and frightened.

He was about to grab her again when she suddenly looked down at her watch and realized it was almost 9 PM.

“I really have to go,” she said in an agitated voice as she tried to catch her breath.

“Oh, okay,” Joe said, a bit dazed. “So, I’ll see you Sunday, then? I think it’s supposed to be a very nice day.”

“I have to see what I’m doing,” Sam replied, choking a bit as she tried to hold back tears. What was she doing? She should be giving him hell for what he just tried to do to her. More importantly, she should have told him in the beginning that she liked taking things slow. It was like her mind wasn’t functioning like the well-oiled machine it normally was.

“Okay. I’ll call you tomorrow. Oh, and give me a call when you get home so I know you got home safely, okay?”

Sam nodded quickly as she unlocked the door, grabbed her purse and moved to get up. As she was about to exit the car, John tried to pull her in for another kiss.

“I’ll call you,” she said instead as she moved quickly away from him and stepped out.

Joe nodded, grinned widely and waved to her as she walked quickly over to her own car.

Sam panted madly as she entered her car and sat down. She checked herself out in the rear view mirror and saw what a mess she looked like. Her hair was disheveled, thanks to Joe running his fingers through it and playing with it, and her lipstick was a complete mess. Her face had regained its color and was now a very bright shade of red as she thought back to what he’d done to her.

She watched Joe drive away and her lip began to tremble. She leaned up against the steering wheel and began to cry softly. She didn’t know whether she was more hurt by him taking advantage of her, or more embarrassed and angry with herself for not having the will to stop him.

… Or more embarrassed and angry with herself for refusing to believe that Daniel had been right all along; she had made a mistake.

“But, how was I to know that he’d pull something like this?” she cried out to the empty car.

She should have known when he contacted her long after she’d un-subscribed from the dating service, with the excuse that he liked her profile and saved it to his computer because he was too busy at the moment to contact her. She should have known when he made that first phone call to her after 1 AM. She should have known when he told her that most of his relationships didn’t last longer than three months. She should have known when he said he had dated girls in their teens who didn’t have their priorities straight.

And, she especially should have known when he told her that all of his siblings were married, and that he should get married in a hurry so that they don’t torment him about it. True, he was joking, but it was quite possible that there was some truth to it.

Sam felt disgusted with herself, as if she just sat back and let him use her. She had the power to stop this, but she acted as though she was completely helpless. There were so many things she could have done to make him stop, but she’d conveniently forgot about them as he forced himself on her.

A shaky sob escaped her throat as she put her head down across her folded arms. She would have thought she was making too big a deal over this, but none of the men she’d dated had been quite as bold as Joe. He hadn’t gone all the way with her, granted, but if she’d stayed in the car any longer, who knows what he would have done. Even though she hadn’t had much dating experience, at least as much experience as most women her age, she always believed in taking things slow. Perhaps she was old-fashioned, but she was never crazy about kissing on the first date. A kiss on the cheek might be okay, but not a full-blown “insert-tongue-here” type of kiss like the one Joe had forced on her. She could have told Joe that he was moving too fast, but he had total control over her and it had taken away her ability to think sensibly.

She lifted her head and looked at her reflection once more, frowning as she realized what a mess she looked like. She also noticed how late it had grown, so she sniffled in an attempt to compose herself and started up her car.

Even though she was still quite upset and shaken, Sam managed to get home in one piece. Almost as soon as she got in the door, she jumped into the shower. Joe had worn some strong, musky-scented cologne, and as he’d been all over her, she felt that she needed to get rid of his scent. In addition, she rinsed her mouth out with Listerine, and felt nauseated as she thought back to that wet, overbearing kiss of his.

After she felt suitably hygienic, she made her way into the kitchen and over to the phone. There was one person she just had to call …

“Hello, this is Daniel Jackson. I am unable to take your call at this time, so please leave your name, number and a brief message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you.”

Sam struggled to retain her composure as she waited for the sound of the beep to give her a cue.

“Uh … Hi, Daniel? It’s Sam,” she began tentatively, her voice wavering slightly. “I guess you don’t want to talk to me right now, but I really need to talk to you. I’ve had a really bad night and I need a friend to talk to. I guess …”

She glanced up at the clock before continuing, and realized it was near 10 pm. She didn’t think Daniel would be out at this hour, and she didn’t think he’d already be asleep. Her heart began to sink as she wondered if he might have been aware of her call and heard her voice on his answering machine, but was just too upset with her to talk. She didn’t want to entertain that possibility, but with the way things were between them right now, she certainly couldn’t rule it out.

“ … I guess you’re not around right now. But, if you are, please pick up. I really need to talk to you.”

Daniel didn’t pick up the phone.

“Okay,” Sam continued, her voice trembling even more as she was finally losing the grip on her composure. “I’m going to be at the Java House tomorrow morning for coffee. You probably won’t be there, but … I’m really going to need the coffee. Take care, bye.”

As Sam hung up the phone, the dam suddenly broke loose completely. The pent up tension finally spilled forth as she sobbed with all her heart. She threw herself on her couch and buried her face in one of the throw pillows. She’d just had one of the worst nights she’d ever experienced, and now Daniel was refusing to talk to her. She sorely needed to talk to a good friend right now, and he was making himself unavailable. She felt so alone.

Suddenly, the phone rang. Sam abruptly stopped crying, straightened up and headed back over to the kitchen. Maybe Daniel had heard the message, felt bad and decided he just couldn’t ignore her. A little ray of hope began to fill her heart as she picked the phone up.

“Hello,” she said, clearing her throat.

“I thought you were going to call me!”

The ray of hope was extinguished quickly as she recognized Joe’s voice.

“Oh, I got into some heavy traffic,” she lied.

“Oh, okay. Yeah, I just got home not long ago and I said to myself, ‘wasn’t she supposed to call me?’” Joe laughed slightly.

Sam remained silent and frowned deeply. She began to realize that she not only hated him, but she even hated his voice.

“So, I was just making sure you got home safe.”

“Well, obviously,” she muttered dryly.

“What’s that?”

“I said, ‘well, yeah.’”

“Oh. Well, I’ll call you tomorrow. Nighty-night, beautiful!”

Sam rolled her eyes and hung up the phone without returning his greeting. She really had to discipline herself so that she wouldn’t end up screaming at him – screaming at him that how dare he force himself on her in such a manner. He probably would have given her the “you-didn’t-object-to-it” excuse, though, so it probably would have been for nothing anyway.

Sam usually would have settled into bed and fell asleep watching TV by now, but she didn’t feel like going to bed yet. She put on some coffee and dug a pint of butter pecan ice cream out of her freezer. Fattening or not, she didn’t care. She couldn’t sleep and she needed to drink and eat.

And talk.

How she wished that Daniel was still talking to her. Some emotion passed over her face as she thought of him, but it dispelled when she realized that he wasn’t the only one she could talk to.

She picked up the phone and fervently dialed Sara’s number.