Chapter 2

Having just returned to her office after a long debriefing, Sam sank into her small couch and sighed. Nearly two months had passed since she’d been transferred to SG-13 and, for the most part, she was content with the new arrangement. Their last mission had been successful and they had brought back some interesting pieces of alien technology that she couldn’t wait to begin studying. Her new teammates were pleasant to work with and they had developed a bit of camaraderie.

Still, it wasn’t the same as it was on SG-1. At times, she would think about how much she missed Teal’c, Cam, and especially Daniel. It was almost enough to make her question the wisdom of her decision. Thinking back to the day she’d made it, she remembered Daniel’s reaction and how fast she’d left his office so that he wouldn’t try to talk her out of it. She had planned on telling Cam and Teal’c as well, but, before she could, both confronted her about it after hearing it from Daniel.

Cam was first and he thought it was a joke. He regarded Sam in disbelief when she told him to the contrary. She didn’t want to get too deeply into it with him, however, as she was worried that he might try to talk her out of it himself. He realized that she didn’t seem willing to talk about it and decided to back off, although he still hoped she would reconsider. Teal’c was not very happy to hear the news either, but he trusted Sam and realized that, if she thought this was the best course of action, he was wise not to question it. He told her that he would miss her, but hoped that things would go well for her on SG-13.

As she thought about how much she missed them, it made her realize that she missed Daniel the most. When she had informed each of them of her decision, telling Daniel had been the hardest of all. I’ve put in for reassignment. Why had this been so difficult for her to say? She didn’t seem to have any trouble making this decision, but telling Daniel about it was a different story. In all of her ten years on SG-1, she never thought she’d ever speak those words. Granted, with the present situation, they seemed to make perfect sense to her.

She stopped herself from dwelling on it any further and tried to resign herself to the fact that things were different now. She wished that they weren’t, that things could go back to the way they were before last year, but there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. “Maybe it’s all for the best,” she muttered aloud to herself, though her tone wasn’t exactly convincing. She still believed that she wasn’t really needed on SG-1, as Cam had taken her place as team leader. Even though she still didn’t know what Vala added to the team, she also believed – no matter how irrationally – that the others found her to be an acceptable replacement for Sam.

Sam realized then that she was feeling sorry for herself. She was supposed to be a tough soldier, and here she was, feeling sorry for herself like a teenager. It wasn’t the first time she’d felt this way during her time at the SGC, but the reason behind it was probably the most ridiculous of all.

Before she could entertain the notion that she’d made a mistake in leaving SG-1, she silently berated herself and headed for her lab, hoping that studying the pieces of alien technology that were waiting for her would take her mind off these ridiculous thoughts.

Sam was barely able to laugh at a corny joke from Dr. Lee when she looked up from the object composed of naquada and her gaze settled upon the clock on the wall. The reality that it was after 2200 hours hit her, and she suddenly felt quite tired. After all the agonizing over her situation, it certainly was not out of the question. She would feel better if she’d call it quits for the night and get some much-needed rest. However, the piece of technology intrigued her and succeeded in taking her mind off the fact that she missed Daniel and being on SG-1. She decided that all she needed was a caffeine boost.

“Bill, I’m going to grab some coffee. You want any?” she asked Dr. Lee.

The other scientist’s brow knitted in confusion. “Don’t you have a coffee maker in here?”

A light grin flitted across Sam’s face. “Had a coffee maker,” she corrected him. “Daniel borrowed it when his broke, and …” She trailed off and looked away from him, emotion briefly coloring her expression. She dismissed it and shook her head. “Never mind. Anyway, I thought now would be a good time to take a little break before we run the spectral analysis on the object from P4J-626.”

Bill nodded. “You look like you could use a good break,” he said, more than aware of her fatigued state.

Sam nodded ruefully and began heading for the lab door. “I’m heading down to the commissary. Last chance – do you want any coffee or not?”

Dr. Lee shook his head. “I’m fine.”

Sam regarded him almost incredulously, as he’d been working nonstop for hours.

“I have these. They’re much better than coffee,” he said, holding up a large bag of chocolate candies – M&Ms, to be exact. “No danger of hot liquid spillage. Melt in your mouth, not in your hand, you know,” he grinned.

Even though she was exhausted, Sam managed a slight laugh and rolled her eyes as Bill popped several of the candies into his mouth. She left the lab and headed slowly for the commissary.

Sam collected her cup of coffee and searched the room for any familiar faces. She didn’t see any SG-1 members. Good. She was exhausted and not in the mood for any more emotional onslaughts. Her eyes wandered over to an empty table close to the middle of the room. She was about to head over to it when she felt someone clap her on the shoulder. She instinctively shut her eyes, worried for a moment that it was Cam or even Daniel, despite the fact that it wasn’t like Daniel to clap someone on the shoulder like that.

“Hey, Sam, how’s it going tonight?”

The friendly voice was not that of the Lieutenant Colonel or the archaeologist. She inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. She opened her eyes to find Colonel David Stevens, the team leader of SG-13, smiling amiably at her.

“Hey, Sir,” she returned with a slight smile. “I was just studying one of the new pieces of technology we brought back from 626. Dr. Lee and I were just about to run a spectral analysis.”

Stevens nodded. “You’ve been working on that practically ever since we got back. You must be exhausted.”

Sam nodded. “Well, I suppose a little,” she fibbed. “It’s nothing I can’t handle, though.”

Stevens grinned. “I like that confidence,” he said lightly.

She gave him an awkward smile. “I figured it was about time I took a break and got some coffee to help me through the rest of the night. There are two other devices that also need to be looked at –“

“Did someone say they needed coffee? Count us in,” a voice interrupted from outside the commissary doors.

Sam turned and found Major Lee Addams and Lieutenant John Pruzanski, the remaining members of SG-13, situated in the doorway. Making their way up to Sam and Colonel Stevens, they smiled.

“Hey, what are you guys still doing here?” Stevens asked, lightly socking Addams on the shoulder.

Pruzanski shrugged slightly as the team sat down at the table that Sam had her eyes on moments ago. “Reports,” the blonde-haired Lieutenant said wearily. “Not only did I want to get a head start on the one for 626, but I still have to submit the one for P5C-1074 to the General.”

Sam shut her eyes. “Oh, God,” she breathed. “I completely forgot about that.”

Stevens regarded her curiously as Addams and Pruzanski got up in pursuit of coffee. “How could you forget about that?” he asked. “It was due a week ago, Colonel. You’re lucky that Landry has been pretty lenient in that regard.”

“I know, I know,” Sam returned, feeling like kicking herself. “I’ve just … I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately.”

Stevens gazed at her expectantly. “Like what?”

Sam returned his gaze and found concern in his gray eyes. She was thankful that she’d made a friend in him, but she still wasn’t willing to spill her guts to him – not completely, anyway. She sighed and looked away as she heard Pruzanski and Addams returning. “Just personal problems,” she replied.

Stevens’ brow furrowed but he merely shrugged and said, “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Sam nodded awkwardly. “Thanks, but I’d appreciate it if we didn’t discuss it.”

Stevens appeared slightly surprised but he shrugged again. “Oh. Okay.”

“Discuss what?” Pruzanski suddenly piped up.

Not realizing that the other two men had just rejoined them, Stevens sighed. “Nothing,” he said as Sam eyed him carefully. “So, let’s talk about the game Monday: Cleveland versus Washington. What do you think, Addams?”

Taking another sip of her coffee, Sam tuned out the football discussion. She really owed Colonel Stevens one for deftly changing the subject. She glanced surreptitiously at each of her team members and smiled inwardly, thinking that maybe things had turned out for the best. They were sweet, funny, easygoing guys, and she was content being on their team.

“So, Sam … I mean, Colonel Carter,” a voice interrupted her thoughts.

She fixed her questioning gaze on Major Addams.

“Cleveland versus Washington – what do you think?”

Sam affected a tiny grin. “Not that I follow football as closely as you guys do, but my money is on Washington.”

Pruzanski looked at her like the cat that swallowed the mouse. “Care to make that an official bet, Colonel?”

Smiling playfully, Sam leaned forward and patted him on the arm. “No thank you, Lieutenant. But I -”

She was cut off by a sound of footsteps. She turned and blushed faintly upon seeing Cam enter the commissary. Watching him make his way inside the room, Sam felt a pang of sadness develop inside her. It made her realize what a good friend he was and that she really missed him.

She was about to turn back to her fellow team members when she suddenly witnessed Daniel entering the room, followed closely by Vala. The sight caused her to tense up and almost made her feel nauseous; not just the fact that Vala was with Daniel, but that it was the first time Sam had really seen Daniel after all this time and, deep down, it pained her to go without seeing him for so long.

Afraid that Daniel or Vala would notice her, Sam turned around and immediately returned her gaze to her coffee cup. She nervously took a sip and grimaced as the now lukewarm liquid hit her throat. She looked back at her team and, realizing they were still engrossed in the football exchange, sighed. She tentatively turned her head back to the area formerly occupied by Daniel and Vala. There was no one there.

She was about to return her attention to her coffee when she spotted Teal’c in front of her, standing in line with a tray and a dish of Jell-o. Teal’c noticed her almost immediately and cast his gaze upon her. As she locked eyes with the Jaffa, she found something akin to concern in his expression. He appeared to be debating over whether he should walk over to her and say something, or leave her alone. He decided to leave her alone, but his gaze remained on her as he headed toward the back of the room.

Sam watched as he joined the remaining members of SG-1 at a table that Cam had grabbed for them. Cam was sitting next to Vala, with Daniel right across from her and Teal’c across from Cam. Vala looked like she was in the middle of some stupid joke or the suggestive remarks for which she was well known. Cam was rolling his eyes and Teal’c merely raised an eyebrow. Sam couldn’t tell what Daniel’s reaction was, as he had his back to her.

Hearing the sound of Daniel’s voice caused the pang of sadness to swell in her stomach and travel up through her chest and into her throat. It threatened to consume her and she could no longer take it. Perhaps the best course of action was for her to leave.

She turned back to her fellow team members and attempted an apologetic expression. “I have to go,” she said hastily, trying to keep her voice as even as possible.

Stevens, Pruzanski, and Addams regarded her curiously.

“I have to get going on that spectral analysis,” she elaborated.

“Okay. Don’t work yourself too hard, though,” Stevens said, giving her a slight smile.

“Don’t worry about me,” she muttered as she stood up and grabbed her coffee. She didn’t catch Stevens’ shrug and the look he shared with the other two as she quickly moved away from the table. Tears stung her eyes as she headed for the doorway, not caring if anyone was looking at her or not, particularly SG-1.

She also didn’t catch Daniel watching her at that point. He’d heard someone noisily pushing a chair in somewhere behind him. He turned and witnessed distress on Sam’s face before she turned and hastily exited the room. She appeared as if she was upset. Despite all that had happened nearly two months ago, Sam was still his friend and Daniel hated to ever see her upset about anything.

Soon after she’d left, he was still sitting turned around, gazing at the doorway from which she had exited, and wondering what was bothering her. Finally he turned back around to see Mitchell in the middle of a mostly one-way conversation with Teal’c. Vala appeared to be gazing in the direction of the commissary doors with an odd expression on her face. It appeared that she was smiling, although not so overtly. Her expression seemed vaguely reminiscent of satisfaction, but it was still hard to read. Daniel regarded her curiously for a moment and then resigned himself to finishing his coffee.

Instead of going straight to her lab, Sam returned to her office and sat on her couch, hands covering her face. She sat still for a few moments, trying to make sense of the jumbled mess of thoughts and emotions that littered her psyche. She realized that the palms of her hands had become wet, thanks to the tears that had left her eyes and traveled slowly down her cheeks. Seeing SG-1 in the commissary had affected her much more than she’d thought. It had been about two months since she’d transferred to SG-13 and she couldn’t deny that she really missed her former team members. She also couldn’t deny that she missed Daniel the most of all.

She straightened up and sniffled, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. She tried not to let her emotions get the best of her again. She really did miss Daniel and she began to regret how her words and actions had caused them to be apart. However, she tried to resign herself to the fact that things were different now.

Why did she have to keep using that as an excuse? She was clearly showing signs that she wasn’t too happy about the situation. Why hadn’t she chosen to do anything about it? She could have gone to see General Landry and asked to be put back on SG-1. Daniel had told her that she was an integral member of her old team, just as she’d always been. Why was it so hard for her to believe it herself? Why was it hard for her to entertain the notion that maybe he didn’t want her to go?

Because he doesn’t care one iota if I go, she thought bitterly. To him, Vala is a good enough replacement for me. He spends so much time with her, just as he had once done with me. Now being in his company is something I can only dream of.

Whoa. Those last few thoughts gave Sam pause. Was she actually jealous of Vala? She felt like gagging at the mere thought, but it certainly wasn’t something that could be ruled out. After all, Sam had spent a lot of time with Daniel in the past and ever since Vala arrived on the scene, it seemed as if she had replaced Sam.

She shook her head, realizing how silly that all sounded. She was a bigger person than that and should not let her pride be hurt by thinking that the alien woman was her replacement. Vala and Daniel had been thrown together first as a result of their impromptu bond over a year ago, and then again due to her subsequent giving birth to a “miracle” child with all the knowledge of the Ori. It was as if they’d always be connected in some way or other. It only seemed right that they would be spending so much time together, wouldn’t it?

That sounded even sillier to her. Just because some important events caused Vala and Daniel to be together in some fashion didn’t mean that he had to avoid Sam to such an extent. She and Daniel had been apart on missions and involved in different matters before and they’d still manage to get together for coffee or downtime activities. In the end, there was nothing to do but face up to the fact that things were now different between her and Daniel, and there was nothing she could do about it.

Instead of letting herself be drawn further into the pit of depression, she stood up and made her way over to her desk, searching for the report that she owed the general. Sighing in relief that it had been completed, she grabbed it and left her office. En route to Landry’s office, she hoped she could keep her emotions in check until she left the base.

That night, Sam had a dream. It had to be a dream because she was still on SG-1. She looked around and realized she was on the Odyssey. Colonel Emerson was surrounded by fellow officers and was barking out orders. Cam and Teal’c were there as well, casting worried glances over Emerson’s shoulder. The whole atmosphere seemed tense.

“Colonel, what’s going on?” Sam asked Emerson worriedly. He seemed to ignore her and spoke to Cam instead.

The ship shook slightly and sparks started flying. Sam was extremely confused and frightened. For one thing, she didn’t know where Daniel was. She was finally able to catch some of Cam’s conversation with Emerson. It seemed that they were involved in a very dangerous mission and were in the middle of a fierce battle with some Ori ships.

Before she could obtain any more information, the ship was jostled and Sam was thrown violently, hitting her head on the corner of the console. At that moment, the ship took another hit and sparks began flying once again. Sam barely removed her hand from her head, where blood had started to seep out of a gash, when the sparks burned the exposed skin of her arm. She cried out in pain as all the commotion took place around her. Once she was able to spot them, she called out to Cam and Teal’c, but they both seemed too preoccupied with the chaos to help her.

She then frantically looked around for Daniel when a pit in her stomach reminded her that he wasn’t here. Suddenly it seemed as if she could sense where Daniel was. She didn’t know how or why, but she could see that he was off with Vala somewhere. She couldn’t make out their location, but they were off on their own somewhere far away. They were sitting together at a small table in what appeared to be a dusty old library covered from corner to corner with cobwebs. Vala was sitting very close to Daniel, listening as he read from a book. At one point, he stopped reading and gazed at Vala as she stroked his arm. He gave her a sweet smile, sweeter than any that Sam had ever seen before, and he pulled her close to him.

Sam squeezed her eyes shut, wishing that she could just turn off the part of her senses that was responsible for making her see this. The reality of her injuries surfaced for a brief time and she cried out in pain. However, her physical pain was supplemented with emotional pain. The fact that Daniel was alone with Vala and affectionate with her was bad enough, but the fact that he wasn’t here to comfort Sam hurt her even more. She needed him to be with her and reassure her that the pain wouldn’t last, that she would be okay. All she could see were people being thrown about, Cam and Teal’c trying to aid the people who had been injured, and Emerson trying to keep together what little faculties of his ship that were left.

Daniel was certainly not here.

Sam’s vision blurred and a single tear rolled down her cheek before she closed her eyes.

Sam suddenly sat up in bed, panting. The dream had been so vivid that it didn’t seem like a dream at all. She could hear all the yelling and feel the jostling each time the Odyssey was hit. She could feel the pain resulting from her head injury and the burn on her arm, as well as from the realization that Daniel wasn’t there to comfort her. The images of Daniel and Vala together that she’d received were so clear they felt as if they’d been burned into her mind. It caused her more distress than she’d thought.

“Are you okay?” a sleepy voice close to her suddenly inquired.

Sam’s eyes widened and she quickly turned her head in the direction of the voice. Someone was lying in bed next to her. Her heart began to race, worrying about how someone could have possibly gotten into bed with her through the course of the night.

The mystery guest turned over, finally revealing himself.

Sam’s mouth dropped open. “D-Daniel?” she breathed.