At times she would question the wisdom of her decision to be reassigned to Area 51. She recalled the events in her mind, including Jack being assigned to Homeworld Security and Teal’c becoming more involved with the free Jaffa on Dakara. It was as if SG-1 was breaking apart. She felt that she had no reason to remain there and at that time she didn’t question the reassignment. Plus, she did want to be closer to Cassie. She did have the unpleasant feeling that she was going to be leaving a lot behind. There was her familiar old lab, the commissary where she and her fellow teammates would congregate over less-than-appetizing food, and, most importantly, her friends. She recited their names in her head: Daniel, Jack, Teal’c, Siler, Walter, Dr. Lee …
In her short list, Daniel’s name came first. Was it any real surprise? An overwhelming feeling of guilt accompanied the recitation of his name. As far as she knew, Daniel was remaining at the SGC; he’d told her that not long after Jack was reassigned. He was fairly confident that he’d be assigned to another SG team and still be able to go offworld. He assumed that Sam would be, too, before she told him that she was going to Area 51.
After that, Daniel didn’t seem as adamant about staying at the SGC. At first, Sam thought it was because he felt that his closest friends would be leaving and he didn’t think there was much point to him staying. She then began to wonder if his change of heart had something to do with her. He seemed content to remain there as long as she was there. She might have thought it was due to the fact that she would be the only other member of SG-1 left, but the reality that Teal’c was still there surfaced. True, he might not be around often since he was heavily involved with the Jaffa, but he would probably still be a fixture of the SGC in some manner.
Later the same day that Sam had told him she was being reassigned, Daniel announced to her that he was requesting to join the Daedalus to the Pegasus Galaxy. Sam wasn’t all that surprised, as visiting Atlantis was something he’d wanted to do for quite some time. It was the fact that he’d come to the decision so suddenly after learning about her own departure from the SGC that gave her pause.
After about six months or so, Sam had rejoined SG-1 and found things quite different than they were when she left. They had a new base commander in General Landry. The new leader of SG-1 was Colonel Cameron Mitchell. The new CMO was Doctor Carolyn Lam, who was very different from Janet Fraiser but still likeable. Oh, and then there was Vala Mal Doran, the alien woman who had stolen the Prometheus and had an interesting confrontation with Daniel.
Sam had been a bit uncomfortable with all the newness, especially after she had first returned. Granted, she had spoken to Daniel quite often while she was at Area 51 and he had filled her in on the excitement that had taken place, but to experience the newness in person was different.
Here it was, now eight months later, and she was still not very happy about all the changes on SG-1. Not only had Vala become a full-fledged teammate, but now Colonel Mitchell had more or less replaced her as team commander. She would be taking orders from him, despite the fact that they were of equal rank. His position was justified by the fact that he’d been the team leader during her absence. General Landry felt that he’d done a good job and didn’t see any reason to change his status when she returned. To be honest, it didn’t really matter to Sam one way or the other, as she was so used to being commanded by other people. The shakeup had bothered her just a bit, however. She’d always been used to SG-1 being made up of her, Daniel, Jack, and Teal’c – then her, Daniel, and Teal’c once Jack was promoted to General.
Back in the immediate present, her eyes finally settled on someone familiar sitting at a table at the far end. Daniel was sitting alone, eating his lunch. She was a bit hesitant in deciding to join him, as their camaraderie had seemed a bit strained ever since she’d returned. Sam had a suspicion that Vala had something to do with it. She noticed that Daniel acted quite irritated toward Vala during the mission for which Sam had returned. After Vala had rejoined them from the Ori home galaxy about a month ago, however, his irritation seemed more subtle and he seemed to show more patience and compassion toward her. Sam held out hope that she herself and Daniel would become close once again and even though they would meet and talk, they still didn’t seem as close as they did before.
Still, the fact remained that Daniel was a friend, and the only friend she could spot in the commissary at this time. It seemed that people had been treating her a little differently ever since she’d come back and she thought that, out of all the people in the room, he would be the one most likely to accept her presence at his table.
She wasn’t very hungry so she grabbed a half of sandwich and a carton of milk. Daniel looked up and nodded as he saw her approaching his table.
“Hi, Sam,” he said genially.
Sam managed a slight smile. “Do you mind if I sit down?”
“No, of course not.” He gestured for her to take the seat across from him.
“Thanks,” she said, almost inaudibly.
She watched him finish eating his sandwich before she got started on hers. She expected him to initiate conversation, but an almost deafening silence was between them instead. She sighed deeply, perhaps to get his attention.
Daniel took one last sip of coffee and looked at her curiously. “Something on your mind?” he asked.
“I don’t feel comfortable here,” she said uneasily.
“What do you mean?”
“I guess that sounds silly. I’ve been back for eight months, but things still seem so … different. I sometimes feel like I just don’t fit in.”
“Why not?”
She shrugged. “The way people treat Vala, it’s like she’s already become a permanent fixture on SG-1,” she said with a hint of abrasiveness in her tone that made her wince inwardly.
He looked at her blankly.
“They all seem to joke around with her a lot, chat with her a lot, and ask her for advice. They’ve been treating me like an outsider. No one really talks to me that much and they seem to avoid me. It’s like I’m carrying some alien plague,” she continued, exaggerating the situation to suit her purposes.
“I didn’t notice that,” Daniel replied casually.
She laughed bitterly. “No, of course you wouldn’t.” The way she spat that statement out made her wince also.
“What do you mean by that?” he asked baldly.
“She’s been monopolizing your attention too, Daniel. Please, don’t think that I don’t notice it. I know that link you two had is long gone, ancient history, but it doesn’t seem like it sometimes.”
“Are you jealous, Sam?”
She should have known this was coming. She looked at him pointedly and decided to ignore the question. “Why is she still here anyway?” she asked, sounding like a petulant child.
“You are jealous,” he said, more to himself than to her. The expression his statement produced told him that he was right.
“SG-1 cannot be a five-man team, Daniel,” she continued.
“I think that’s up to Landry to decide, Sam,” he shot back, his voice quiet in disbelief. “Are you suggesting that you’d like to get yourself reassigned?”
Sam’s eyes widened. She was not expecting Daniel to pose this question to her and it felt like an insult. She almost expected him to sympathize with her, and instead he was calling her bluff. “Maybe I will,” she replied coolly. “I don’t see what the point is of having two colonels on a team.”
Daniel regarded her incredulously. Was she taking issue with Mitchell being on the team now?
“Though I really don’t see the point of having her on the team, either,” she continued, Daniel’s silence making her feel that she was on a roll. “What is her expertise? Stealing things? If you ask me, she’s a liability, not an advantage.”
Daniel took in a sharp breath and fixed her with a piercing look. He’d had enough of this. Yes, there were many things about Vala that he could not stand, and perhaps deep down he thought that, in some ways, Sam was correct. But he still took exception to her grousing and thought that her putting down of Vala was unfair.
“I think we should discuss this somewhere more private,” he said. His voice was quiet, but the indignation was unmistakable. It actually cultivated fear deep inside Sam.
“Fine,” she replied in a neutral tone as she discarded the sandwich wrapper and empty milk carton before following him down the corridor.
*****************************************
Daniel was surprised to find his office door open, as he was sure he’d locked it before heading down to eat. He was even more surprised to find Vala inside, perched on the edge of his desk.
“Hello, darling!” she greeted him impishly, swinging her legs back and forth. “I’ve been waiting here for you!”
“Ah … yeah,” Daniel replied awkwardly, holding the word out. “How did you get in here? I know I locked up before I went to eat.”
“Oh, you did. I suppose you’ve forgotten that I had a copy of your key made several weeks ago, hmm?” She grinned and held up a small key, unaware that her statement only added insult to injury.
Daniel sighed miserably. “Vala, Sam and I need to discuss something important. Could you come back later?”
Vala blinked and then her eyes widened when she finally really noticed Sam for the first time. “Oh! Yes. Hello, Colonel Carter,” she said with a smile that seemed quite fake.
Sam responded with a severe glare.
“Ouch,” Vala remarked quietly. “Did I say something wrong?”
Daniel quickly looked at Sam and sighed. “No. We just … we need to discuss our last mission.”
“Oh, yes, to P3Q-961. Please, let’s discuss,” Vala said eagerly, swinging her legs again.
“Get out,” Sam growled.
Daniel briefly winced and then turned to Vala. “No, we have to discuss this without you, Vala. I need Sam’s astrophysics expertise. I’m sure it would bore you.”
Sam’s eyes widened and she almost appeared insulted as she whipped her head around to look at Daniel.
Vala shrugged. “Fine, fine. I’ll be off.” She begrudgingly hopped off the desk and made her way to the door, glancing at Sam as if she was affronted. She then turned back to Daniel. “Anytime you want to discuss matters of … er … other importance, you know where to find me,” she told him suggestively.
Daniel rolled his eyes and sighed as Vala made her way out of his office. Once she was gone he looked sharply at Sam, his eyes tinged not only with indignation but with frustration over Sam’s behavior.
“Now, what is your problem, Sam?” he asked calmly.
“Well, part of the ‘problem’ just left the room,” she said unyieldingly.
“You do realize that she’s bluffing, don’t you? I mean, you’ve been around her long enough to see that she’s joking around.”
“Really, huh?” she asked coldly.
Daniel’s eyes narrowed as he looked at her. “Okay, let’s hold off on her behavior for now –“
“No, let’s not,” Sam interrupted.
Daniel sighed again. “Sam, why are you making this so hard?”
Sam lifted an incredulous eyebrow at him. “You’re accusing me of being difficult?”
Daniel chuckled in disbelief. “Well, it’s plain to see that you are being difficult, and that you have a real problem with Vala being here.”
Sam could feel an uncomfortable warmth rise up into her cheeks. Yes, he was correct; she did have a problem with Vala being here. What he didn’t know was that this problem concerned himself as well as Vala. Over the past ten years, she and Daniel had grown quite close and developed a special friendship. Sam had almost taken for granted all the times that they’d shared together – late nights over coffee and chocolate walnut cookies in each other’s offices discussing some new kind of alien technology; getting together during down time off base for a trip to a museum or just pizza and a movie; and then there were the times they were there to comfort each other during times of great stress and sorrow.
During most of that time, Sam could always find Daniel in his office, willing to talk to her about anything. She’d taken it for granted all these years. Now, Vala took up a great deal of his time. Daniel didn’t visit Sam in her office as much as he used to, only if it was for information he really needed concerning one of their missions. He pretty much stopped coming to her for advice, and, whenever they had down time, he’d usually end up staying on base, apologetically declining her offers to do something together with the excuse that he had to catch up on some work. Sam felt almost as if a wedge had been driven between them, and that wedge was slender, raven-haired, and possessed a saucy tongue.
“Okay, you’re right – I am being difficult,” she finally replied. “I’m being difficult for reasons that you probably wouldn’t understand.”
Daniel’s frustrated expression softened slightly as he met her gaze. “Try me,” he said quietly.
“I …” she hesitated. She looked at him for a long moment, deciding whether she should really come clean and tell him out loud the thoughts that silently plagued her. Would he really understand her concerns, or would he dismiss them?
Sam finally decided to answer him but before she could do so, a shuffling of feet from outside Daniel’s office distracted her. She turned her head and witnessed Vala standing nearly out of her field of vision. The small spark that prompted her willingness to tell him was suddenly extinguished and a feeling of uneasiness welled up inside her.
Sensing Vala drawing closer, Sam turned back to Daniel and cleared her throat. “I really have to go,” she said, burden evident in her voice.
Daniel watched her curiously and made some sweeping, uncomprehending gesture with his hands. “You were going to say something,” he said.
“Yeah, well, just forget it now,” she insisted. She looked away and noticed Vala standing with her hands on her hips. She gave the dark-haired woman an icy glare and then turned back around to face the archaeologist. “I’m sorry I wasted your time, Daniel,” she said, her cool tone masking some heavy emotions that were threatening to surface. With that, she spun on her heel and abruptly made her way out of his office.
“Sam,” Daniel called after her. He stood outside his door, gaping incredulously at Sam’s retreating form. He half hoped that she would turn around and come back, but the further she disappeared down the hall, the more his hope ebbed away.
Daniel sighed in frustration once Sam was gone from sight. He turned and noticed Vala watching curiously.
“What happened?” she asked.
Failing to answer her, Daniel removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just … just never mind,” he said, agitated.
Vala remained perplexed for several moments and then shrugged. “So, are you ready to discuss the mission to P3Q-961?” she asked with a hopeful smile.
“I’d rather that we didn’t,” Daniel replied. “I have to finish a translation.”
Vala could tell that Daniel wasn’t exactly telling the truth; okay, that he wasn’t telling the truth at all. “What translation?” she pressed, her brow furrowing in confusion.
The meaning behind Sam’s behavior, Daniel thought to himself. “Look, Vala, it’s nothing against you,” he said aloud. “I just want some time alone now. I’ll see you tomorrow morning in the commissary, okay?”
Vala’s expression turned from exasperation to resignation to slight amusement. “All right,” she said nonchalantly. “But don’t you work yourself too hard there; even thinking too much will take its toll on you, Doctor.” She bestowed a coy grin upon him.
As Vala walked away, Daniel rolled his eyes and groaned inwardly. After being around Vala for quite a while, he was used to her flirting and teasing, but it only seemed to grow more and more annoying. If he ever told her to stop, she’d pooh-pooh it and just return from where she left off. It was something that she would never give up, unfortunately, as it was a part of her personality.
He shut his eyes and sighed. Why was he agonizing over Vala when he was so perplexed and concerned about Sam? She would not come out and tell him what was bothering her. Yes, he knew she had a problem with Vala, but there was something else. Something else beneath the surface was eating away at her, and he wished he knew what it was so he could help her deal with it. They were friends, after all – friends who came to each other for advice and comfort in times of need.
True, they had grown apart slightly ever since she’d come back to the SGC from Area 51. It had been more gradual, though. Even before Vala had returned to them, the camaraderie they had wasn’t up to the level it had always been. Mostly, it had been the result of being apart during various missions. Things definitely weren’t the same as when Jack had been their commanding officer, or even as when he’d been promoted and Sam took command of SG-1. Daniel wasn’t exactly sure of the reason; perhaps it was a difference in Mitchell’s strategic methods. In the end, he surmised that it was just the way things turned out.
These thoughts reminded Daniel of just how much things had changed in the past year. In some respects he wished that they hadn’t; he missed the family dynamic he’d had with Jack, Sam, and Teal’c that was still present in some form even when Jack became base commander. He knew there was nothing he could do about it, though, and he learned to accept the changes. Although the relationship he’d started to develop with Mitchell was much different from that which he’d had with Jack, he really respected the Lieutenant Colonel and was glad to have his friendship.
He then thought about Sam. No doubt it must have been harder for her to accept the changes than it was for him, especially since she’d been gone when they were first implemented. What he couldn’t figure out, however, was her problem with Vala. He never really noticed any friction between the two women before. Sure, he couldn’t rule out that Sam had some underlying issues with Vala that she kept bottled up when associating with her on a regular basis, especially on missions. It would certainly explain Sam’s most recent behavior.
If only she would just come out and tell him what was bothering her. What was preventing her from doing so?
Releasing an explosive breath, Daniel removed his glasses and began to massage his temples. He hoped that, whatever the problem was, she would reconsider and tell him so that he could help her find a solution.
**************************************
Having returned to her office, Sam agonized in her mind what she should do. First of all, what was the problem? That was easy: the problem was Vala. In order to arrive at a solution, all she had to do was isolate the problem. Unfortunately, there was no way that Vala would be taken off SG-1 unless she did something to really warrant it, so Sam would have to isolate herself from the problem. That only meant that she’d have to be reassigned.
She stopped to think about what that would mean. She would no longer be with Mitchell, Daniel, or Teal’c on missions. She would certainly miss them at first, but she has no choice. Perhaps things wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe it was good to have a change.
She thought again about Daniel. Yes, she would miss him at first as well, but it just wouldn’t work with her on SG-1. Besides, with Vala still there, he probably would not miss her, at least as much as he would otherwise. She began to think that she wasn’t really worth much to SG-1 anyway.
Before she could agonize over it any further, she made her way hurriedly down to Landry’s office. If she thought about it a second longer, she might try to talk herself out of doing this and that wasn’t an option.
******************************
Daniel sat hunched over his desk, mired deep in translation of another ancient tablet. He tried to concentrate as best as he could, but he still couldn’t shake the odd feeling he had after what happened with Sam the other day. They’d been on stand down this week and he hadn’t seen much of her at all, even in the commissary for meals. He tried to put these thoughts aside and concentrate on the task at hand when a short, abrupt knock, rudely interrupted.
Sighing heavily, Daniel rolled his eyes and straightened up. That was Vala’s signature knock, which could only mean that she was here to torment him about something. He was not in the mood, but he figured he’d get rid of her as expediently as possible.
His eyes widened and his mouth opened slightly when he found Sam standing in front of the door, looking at him gravely.
“Sam,” he said, nonplussed. “I …” He was unable to speak for a moment and then continued, “I’m sorry, I … I’m just surprised. I haven’t seen hide nor hair of you for a couple of days. I mean, I know we’re on stand down, but …” He trailed off awkwardly.
“Are you alone?” Sam asked, undeterred as she looked past him into his office.
Daniel regarded her curiously. “Ah … yes, I am,” he said slowly.
Sam gazed at him for a moment and then affected a tiny smirk. “Really. I’m surprised to find that you don’t have any ‘visitors.’”
Daniel’s reaction to her almost snide tone wasn’t the one she was expecting. He gave her a little smile and rolled his eyes. “She was supposed to debrief SG-12 this morning. Right now I think she’s down at the commissary, probably bugging the staff to see if they have blue Jell-o.” He finished with a slight sarcastic laugh.
Sam took his laugh as one of fondness and bristled. “I’m not here to discuss her,” she spat out rather impatiently.
Daniel’s laughter came to a grinding halt and the smile was wiped from his face. “What do you want to see me about?” he asked.
Sam’s gaze fell upon the floor as she drew in a deep breath. Her eyes returned to Daniel and she looked at him for a long moment, her expression emotionless. “I’ve put in for reassignment,” she said, her tone cold and business-like.
Daniel’s eyebrows nearly leapt off his forehead, her revelation taking him completely by surprise. “W-what?” he said incredulously.
“As of tomorrow I will be on SG-13. It was hard trying to find another team that would accept me so quickly. Luckily they have a need for someone who is part soldier and part scientist,” she continued.
Daniel’s brow furrowed in confusion as he stared at her, regarding her completely serious expression with utter disbelief. “This is a joke, isn’t it?” he chuckled lightly.
His soft laughter ceased as her expression remained unchanged. “I am not joking. I’m being reassigned, Daniel. Don’t try to stop me.”
She moved to leave but he reached out and grabbed her shoulder. “Sam, wait,” he pleaded. His expression was a mixture of disbelief, confusion and frustration; perhaps there was even a little concern lurking within it. As he stared at her, he had so much to ask but he couldn’t arrange all the words into something coherent. “Why?” he asked her simply.
A tiny part of her felt crushed by the slight note of disappointment in his voice. She warned herself not to get pulled into that trap once again, the trap where she was unhappy with a situation but allowed herself to be prevented from doing anything about it, particularly by someone close to her. Her hardened expression remained and she attempted to keep her voice neutral. “I don’t really want to discuss it,” she replied, unfortunately not able to keep a subtle undertone of regret from slipping out. “All I’ll tell you is that I’m not happy on SG-1.”
“Not happy?” Daniel parroted incredulously. “Sam, what could you possibly not be happy with?”
She wasn’t going to tell him everything; she felt she didn’t have to. He could probably guess what part of the problem was after the little argument that had taken place between them a few days ago. Her defiant side wondered why she had to tell him anything at all, feeling that there was no longer anything special in their friendship and that he didn’t really deserve to be told. Her more sensible side took over and reminded her that he was a friend, one she’d had for quite a long time. At the very least, it was only fair to give him a reason for leaving the team.
“I … I don’t feel as if I’m needed on SG-1. I mean, what do I contribute? Mitchell is now the leader. You are the scientist and still the diplomat even though you’re much more proactive now. My astrophysics and technological expertise has rarely been needed, if at all. Vala … I still can’t figure out what she does; I’m sure you would know more than I do.” She winced inwardly at the cutting tone her voice had taken as she referred to the alien woman. Still, she continued, “Teal’c is … well, Teal’c does what he’s done since he joined SG-1. I just don’t fit anywhere into this equation.”
If not for her current state of mind, she might have cracked that Daniel should change his expression or his face would freeze that way. He couldn’t help it, though – he certainly was not expecting Sam to come out with anything like this. He slowly released an explosive breath and looked down at his hands.
“You don’t understand,” she surmised.
Daniel’s gaze slowly lifted until he met her hardened, blue-gray orbs. “No, I don’t,” he said slowly. “I … I don’t understand how you could feel like you’re not wanted on SG-1, Sam. You’ve always been important to us –“
“Do you still think that?” she interrupted.
“Of course,” he replied, almost taken aback. “If you felt this way, why didn’t you come to one of us – at least to me or to Teal’c?”
Sam uttered a short, bitter laugh. “Well, maybe Teal’c would understand … maybe,” she said.
There was a touch of scorn in her tone that cut right through Daniel. “And why wouldn’t I understand?” he asked with a hint of indignation.
“Oh, I don’t know,” she said flippantly with a tiny shrug of her shoulders. “I figured you wouldn’t have time to discuss such things with me, what with being so ‘preoccupied.’”
Daniel picked up on her meaning and his eyes narrowed. “That is complete bullshit, Sam. I’ve always been willing to discuss anything with you, especially something as important as you being unhappy and wanting to be reassigned.”
Sam faked surprise, lifting an eyebrow. “Why are you so put out, Daniel? I thought you would take the news better than this. After all, you nearly suggested that I get myself reassigned.”
Daniel remembered what had transpired between them a few days ago in the commissary and almost wished he could take it back. Still, Sam’s behavior was beginning to make his patience wear thin. “Okay, maybe I did, but I didn’t think you would actually do it!”
For the first time,
her hard,
stony façade began to develop a few cracks and she felt a lump
grow in her
throat. She blinked furiously as her eyes
began to sting, trying to drive away tears that would undoubtedly
spring forth.
“I’m on SG-13 from now on,
Daniel. I feel it’s the best
thing,” she said, her voice threatening to break. Before
any more traces of emotion could
appear, she turned on her heel and stalked away from him, never looking
back as
she hurriedly made her way down the corridor.